


dust and ashes

by yvelle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bodyguard Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Taeyong Are Siblings, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Prince Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2020-05-13 19:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19257880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvelle/pseuds/yvelle
Summary: The new personal guard his brother had assigned to him was… different.He had dared to glance at him once or twice when he was training in the yard. His servants had giggled and sighed as they observed the officer, whispering to each other while suspicious redness colored their cheeks.Donghyuck just thought he was too young. Twenty-one. It was absolutely ridiculous. No one had become a personal guard assigned to protect the imperial family at twenty-one. No one.





	1. Chapter 1

_Two years ago, imperial palace_

 

Head servant Jaemin was perfecting the last details of the magnificent hairdo. Finally, every small hair was at its destined place. He stepped back, satisfied with his day's work.

“That’s it, Your Highness.”

Donghyuck anxiously glanced at his own reflection, sighed deeply and nodded. The person in the mirror in front of him was barely recognizable, eyes lined with coal, cheeks dusted in blush and exquisite hairpins holding his carefully arranged hairdo together. He looked so different. So _grown up._

 

There was a quiet knock and Mark entered the room. As the son of one of the former emperor’s most trusted advisers, he had the privilege of growing up in the palace and, much to the delight of their fathers, becoming the second prince’s closest confidant.

“Are you ready, hyuckie?”

“I think so..”

“Don’t forget the sash.. oh wow”, the young lord halted, “this is so ...”

“Is the hairdo not right?” asked Donghyuck.

He had known that he complicated bun with all those golden, jewel-studded hairpins was totally over the top from the beginning!

“Hyuck! You look so pretty. Absolutely breathtaking. I can’t believe this is the same person who made me eat dirt from the imperial gardens.”

“I didn’t _make_ you do anything, Lee. Maybe if you didn’t lose each of our duels, you wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences.” Donghyuck replied, a grin tugging on his lips.

“I _let_ you win to preserve your fragile prince ego – you should be thanking me! After all, no one wants His Imperial Highness to wreak havoc on his poor subjects just because he’s a sore loser unable to take a hit to his pride.”

Donghyuck’s grin got even bigger, “Just keep telling that story, maybe one day you’ll believe yourself.”

“It’s still scary to me, how lovely you look today. You might actually fool some poor person into thinking you’re not the actual devil.”

Immediately Donghyuck’s face fell, grin vanishing.

“I don’t like it”, he exhaled.

“What?”

“Does it have to happen?”

“Hyuck, you know there’s no other way. Kanghoon cannot remain your personal guard for forever. “

“But I don’t want anybody else!”

“Donghyuck..”

“He is not too old at all! And he can protect me very well!”

 

“Are you talking about Commander Kim?”

At the sound of the familiar voice, Donghyuck winced guiltily.

His eyes met his brother’s hard gaze in the mirror.

“Yes”, he admitted sheepishly.

“Didn’t we talk about this _several times_ already?”, he demanded to know.

“...Yes.”

“So?”

“I..”

“Kim Kanghoon has served us diligently for a very long time. He is more than deserving of enjoying the last years of his life and going into retirement.”

“But I’m going to be scared without him here!”

“Donghyuck! Lieutenant Wong will be more than qualified to fulfill the task.”

“But I don’t even know him!”

“Enough!”, exclaimed the emperor sternly. “I don’t want to hear another word. You’re just going to make Kanghoon sad by pulling such a face.”

Donghyuck pressed his lips together. Traitorous tears were forming in his eyes after the scolding. But he would not cry. He was not a child anymore.

“Your Imperial Majesty..” said emperor’s eyebrow raised in warning made Mark pause before he could raise an objection.

The emperor was right after all. Commander Kim was sixty years old, at this age, all personal guards retired from active duty. If they wanted to they had the options to go on as trainers or take over desk duty, otherwise, they were free to retire from military service altogether. Either way, they were rewarded with their own estate and a more than satisfying pension.

 

“Brother, come here,” said Taeyong calmly. And as Donghyuck stood before him, he engulfed him in a comforting embrace.

“I would never put your safety into the hands of a man I trusted with less than my own life.”

“I know.”

“And I know how much Commander Kim means to you. And that’s a good thing – personal guards are always ready to risk their lives for us, in return, we must repay them with respect and love. And worry-free last years. Let go of your Kanghoon and let him tend to his flowers and cats. Come with me in the throne room, smile, wish him good luck and make him proud. After all, you can visit him anytime if you happen to need him.”

“Yeah. Alright.” Donghyuck conceded.

His brother patted his head softly, “Don’t be sad, Hyuckie. Do you have your sash?”

He straightened his posture, nodded and took the embroidered silk sash from Mark.

“I’m ready.”

 

He was not ready at all! Why were they taking Kanghoon from him? He wasn’t too old! And he wasn’t too slow! He had protected him for eight years now. Since he was nine years old. He had been with him in the night when the greatest tragedy had stricken their country, protected him in the face of a massacre. When a terrorist group had infiltrated the palace and murdered half of the attendants of the yearly spring festival including Donghyuck’s parents, Kanghoon had sacrificed his own life to get Donghyuck to safety. A scar stretching across his guard’s entire face was the remaining reminder that Kanghoon had almost died that night. Kanghoon was the comforting shadow behind him, who smiled reassuringly at him when he had trouble recounting his ancestors and held his hand tightly when Donghyuck felt nervousness overtaking him.

The new personal guard his brother had assigned to him was… different.

He had dared to glance at him once or twice when he was training in the yard. His servants had giggled and sighed as they observed the officer, whispering to each other while suspicious redness colored their cheeks.

 

Donghyuck just thought he was too young. Twenty-one. It was absolutely ridiculous. No one had become a personal guard assigned to protect the imperial family at twenty-one. _No one._

He was too young, too tall, too muscular and too arrogant. He had to be arrogant for sure. All the young soldiers were like that, strutting along the palace grounds basking in the attention of the easily impressed servants. Some of them even thought a bit of muscle show could impress _Donghyuck,_ laughable.

Donghyuck didn’t want someone like that around him. He wanted calm Kanghoon who he knew could keep him safe and gave Donghyuck a sense of comfort. He could not imagine what would have become of him had Kanghoon died in the night of the tragedy – the only reason Donghyuck had been brave enough to attend events, undertake state visits and fulfill his duties as the crown prince afterward was the comfort of having Kanghoon at his side. He could not imagine ever building that kind of trust to someone else.

 

And yet his brother insisted that this person he didn’t even know would protect him from now on! Donghyuck hated it.

He didn’t like conversing with strangers in general, he always felt stupid. He was too lanky, too awkward, and no one _ever_ got his sense of humor. However, as a crown prince, he had to bear everything with a smile. Most of the men who approached him expected him to be an impressionable subdued young thing eager to get married to strengthen their country’s ties and were taken aback by his quick-wit and mischievous nature. And the friendly reminder that he was _seventeen, and not looking to get married anytime soon thank you very much._

In these moments it was reassuring to know that Kanghoon was just behind him, a calming presence that always reminded him that he had lived through worse. Why did this familiar face have to be taken from him?

He was childish, he knew. It was just how things went. So he silently followed his brother.

 

The throne room was filled with the highest ranking members of the military, standing in two rows on opposite sides of the room. Donghyuck sat next to his brother who overlooked the whole scene from his throne, his right hand and personal guard next to him on his other side.

As Kanghoon strode down the corridor and received his last blessings and thanks from his brother, the prince couldn’t bear to look at him. But as he directed his final goodbye to Donghyuck he managed to muster up a smile, hoping that his eyes would convey his feelings to his trusted guard. And then he was gone. In the blink of an eye, he was walking down the corridor again, the soldiers surrounding him raising their swords in respect.

 

“Lieutenant Wong!” Taeyong called.

“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty?”

“Step forward!”

A soldier stepped forward from the end of one row. He was very tall and young and stalked forward with confident steps until he sank to his knees in front of the imperial family.

“Wong Yukhei, after careful consideration we have found you worthy of becoming a personal guard serving the imperial family. Are you willing to accept this honor bestowed upon you?”

“Yes, my emperor.”

“Are you willing to guard and protect my family with your life even if it might mean unimaginable sacrifices?”

“Yes, my emperor.”

“You will be bound to this promise”, the emperor raised his hand and his right hand, Doyoung, stepped forward to attach the new badge to Lieutenant Wong’s uniform.

“Crown Prince Donghyuck please step forward.”

Donghyuck was guided in front of the officer who was allowed to rise to his feet for the final part of the ceremony.

“Will you protect Crown Prince Lee Donghyuck until your last dying breath?”

“I will”, Lieutenant Wong calmly responded.

“Donghyuck”, his brother prompted him.

He offered the sash in his hands to the lieutenant without raising his head, staring intensely at his chest, “I accept Wong Yukhei as my personal guard.”

Rough hands touched his own for a second as his new personal guard took the sash from his hands to put it on.

“Wong Yukhei, you are hereby responsible for the safety and well-being of Crown Prince Lee Donghyuck. Your promise will bind you for life,” the powerful words of the emperor echoed throughout the room.

Finally, Donghyuck dared to look up into the face of the man who had just become his new shadow. And o _h._ _Oh._

 

 

 

_A few days later, imperial gardens_

 

“I just don’t get it.”

“What?”, Mark asked absentmindedly, taking more biscuits from the tray in front of him.

“Do you know what I heard two maids say about him yesterday?”, Donghyuck leaned forward, continuing with a high-pitched imitation, “ _oh, he has eyes transparent as a cloudless sky and a smile like sunrise on a sea strewn with wreckage”,_ he made a gagging noise,” how can they even take themselves seriously while spouting such nonsense?”

“I still don’t understand what your problem with him is”, Mark sighed, glancing at the officer standing at the entrance to the pavilion, out of hearing distance,” Yukhei is an extraordinarily skilled fighter, he’s good-looking _and_ charming, half of the palace is in love with him.”

“Thanks, I haven’t noticed,” Donghyuck deadpanned, “ _everyone_ is absolutely smitten with him, even Renjun and Jaemin start whispering to each other when he’s in their vicinity! Yesterday a countess _fainted_ because he smiled at her. They’re all ridiculous, the whole lot of them.”

“Are you.. jealous?”, Mark squinted at him.

Donghyuck bristled, “Jealous? What’s there to be jealous of? If they all want to throw themselves at the feet of someone who can’t even speak more than three words, they’re free to do so. Just _not_ in front of me, I can’t stand their embarrassing squeaking.”

 

Mark frowned, “Yukhei’s really not a man of few words, I don’t know how you got that impression. You should see him down at the soldier’s bar, that man knows how to tell stories I tell you.”

Donghyuck felt his stomach drop, so his observations had been right after all.

“Yes, that’s what everyone tells me,” he gritted out, “ _Oh Yukhei's so funny he just told me this joke with the ducks- oh_ _Commander_ _Wong_ _'s so charming he talked to me for 5 minutes and when he smiled at me_ _oh_ _, I might just marry him- He’s just so nice,_ _back in the day_ _he even took_ _the_ _time to convince the_ _higher-ups_ _to move me up in ranks- blablabla_. Funny how he turns into stone as soon as I step into the picture _.”_

“Maybe he’s intimidated.”

“By _what?_ I’m a head shorter than him”, Donghyuck groaned, “he just doesn’t like me. My brother really picked the _one_ soldier that can’t stand the sight of me to protect me with his life.”

“I think you’re just being dramatic”, Mark said, chewing on a biscuit, “just give the poor guy some time, he’s probably not used to serving Your Imperial Highness yet.”

“When I die you will regret saying that.”

“You’re such a _baby._ You won’t die under Commander Wong’s watch. Even if he did dislike you, he is one of the most skilled guards this palace has ever seen.”

“So you do think he dislikes me too!”

“I didn’t- you’re just being ridiculous!”, Mark had laughed, excusing himself to tend to his duties, namely sorting through the new recruitment recommendations.

 

Without permission, his eyes wandered from Mark’s retreating back to the figure standing guard at the entrance. From this distance, his height was not nearly as intimidating and _fine,_ maybe he looked handsome surrounded by all the glory of the imperial gardens. But to speak about a face chiseled by the gods and eyes filled with the night sky because of this person was just _ridiculous._

Sighing, Donghyuck gathered his robes and rose from his cushion, well aware that he had a history lesson to attend.

“Commander Wong”, he nodded to his guard as he stepped out of the pavilion.

“Your Highness”, came the monotonous reply, his cursed handsome face remaining impassive.

 

 

 

_At the same time, emperor’s chambers_

 

There was a quiet knock, followed by a head peaking between the engraved magnolia doors.

“Your Imperial Majesty?”

“What is it, Doyoung?”

“Are you very busy?”

“I have to finish reviewing the coal production reports and then there’s the meeting with the western dukes about damage repay for the flooding I have to prepare for. But you _know_ this, keeping up with my schedule is your job.”, Taeyong murmured, signing a document in front of him.

“Yeah well... I was wondering if you had a moment of time to talk to me.”

“Fine”, Taeyong sighed, getting up from his desk,” but come inside for god’s sake, we’re not doing this between doors.”

That was all the permission Doyoung required to slump into the velvet couch in the emperor’s room, a gift from one of their trusted allies. And _what_ a couch it was – soft to the touch and even more comfortable to sit on, Doyoung had contemplated staging a heist just to keep this piece of furniture for himself many times. He just feared the emperor would not appreciate the theft. _Too bad._

 

“I assume this is about Donghyuck”, Taeyong said, pouring himself a cup of tea.

“Hm”, Doyoung hummed.

“If you may allow me to guess – you’re going to ask me to assign another personal guard to him.”

“Something like that”, Doyoung amended, feeling caught.

“No.”

“But he’s uncomfortable with him around! He doesn’t leave his room unless necessary anymore. He even reclined my offer to go for a ride!”

“Maybe he’s just grown tired of you,” Taeyong lifted a brow.

“Taeyong please, I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he replied sternly, putting his cup down on the table, “There is no one I trust more than Wong Yukhei to do this job. Are you doubting my judgment?”

“No, of course not. I have full faith in Commander Wong, but shouldn’t Donghyuck’s feelings be taken into account as well?”

Taeyong sighed, “He is not a child anymore. At one point he’s going to have to learn to overcome his shyness around strangers. It has barely been a week since Yukhei has been assigned as his personal guard, give them some time to get used to each other.”

“I just can’t help worrying about him, I’ve basically raised that child!” Doyoung huffed.

“I know. I was there. Right beside you, raising that brat if you remember”, Taeyong smiled, eyes growing soft.

“It’s really no wonder that kid turned out the way it did, with you as a role model.”

“You’re one to speak,” Taeyong retorted, chuckling, “fine, I’ll speak to him if it will relieve your conscience.”

“Oh, you are too generous, Your Imperial Majesty.”

“And you are going to give me a headache before I even finish reviewing the reports.”

 

“Donghyuck”, the door to his chambers opened and Emperor Taeyong, first of his name, entered the room, “do you have a moment for your dear brother?”

Donghyuck barely looked up from his book, “Of course, my emperor.”

“Great”, he said, closing the door behind him, “now pray tell me why Doyoung is worried about your well-being and pestering me to reassign your personal guard?”

“I always knew Doyoung is the only one I can trust around here!”, Donghyuck exclaimed, shutting his book “Commander Wong _hates me,_ I will die _.”_

“Did he say that?”

“No, he didn’t need to.”

“So you can read minds now?”

“No, his actions speak for themselves!”

Taeyong nodded. “You used to trust me more”, he said quietly.

“What? No, brother, this is not..”

“If you don’t think Commander Wong is capable of protecting you then that means you’re doubting my judgment of him.”

Donghyuck gulped. What was he even supposed to say to that? That it hurt him to see the Commander treat everyone with the most cheerful attitude only to turn around and regard him with contempt?

“What exactly is it that bothers you?”

He bit down on his lip. His brother would surely think he was being childish.

“His gaze is cold”, he admitted finally.

“I’m not quite sure I’m following.”

“It’s just that.. everyone keeps talking about how funny and charming and kind the commander is, but when he’s with me he’s just like that. Cold. His face remains expressionless and his eyes stare right through me.”

“Oh hyuckie..”, Taeyong pulled his brother in his arms, “of course there is a difference in how he interacts with you compared to everybody else. He’s sworn to protect you with his life. When he is with you, he cannot act as carelessly because your life depends on him being aware of your surroundings. Nothing is more important to me than knowing you are safe. I would never leave your protection to a man that can’t fully focus on his job.”

Donghyuck blinked.

“Hyuck, this boy has worked hard for years to become a guard. And when given the choice he chose to protect _You._ Not me. Not one of the other nobles. Nobody will protect you better than Commander Wong. I am sure of that.”

“I’m sorry for being so stupid”, ashamed Donghyuck averted his gaze.

“You’re not stupid. You were unnerved and I should have taken that more seriously. Jumping too fast to conclusions is, unfortunately, a flaw that’s not unfamiliar to me,” Taeyong smiled, ruffling his brother’s hair.

 

When the doors to the prince’s chamber opened again Commander Wong stood at attention.

“Commander”, said the emperor.

“Your Imperial Majesty?”

“Have you settled in by now?”

“Yes, my emperor.”

“Great. I think my brother too. Well.. from now on.”

Taeyong glanced at his rigid stature in passing, “Keeping a straight face, hm?”

“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.”

“Well I have to say, I heard you were funnier.”

Commander Wong’s jaw muscles twitched for a short moment.

“What was that joke about the ducks my adviser was talking about?”

“That’s not what I was trained for, Your Imperial Majesty.”

“Of course not. But to be a personal guard”, while the commander was still thinking about that remark, a hand was shortly placed on his shoulder, “you’re going to do a great job.”

 

 

 

_Present, imperial palace_

 

“If you put a bit of effort into it, you’ll maybe manage to make me sweat”, boasted Donghyuck, despite being out of breath, “You’re starting to hit like Mark when he had one drink too many!”

“Better pay attention to your defense, Your Highness.”

“My defense? It’s flawle..”

With a single fast swing of the wooden fighting staff, Donghyuck was disarmed and on the ground.

“It’s not”, said Commander Wong calmly and offered his hand to help the prince get up. His help was greatly appreciated ... and taken advantage of. Donghyuck braced his feet against the Commander’s chest and pulled. With little success. But it could have worked _once,_ couldn’t it?

 

“God damn it!”

“Are you done playing around?”

“Playing around? I’m sure I’m gonna have bruises for days after this!”

“That’s doubtful. I would never seriously hurt you, Your Highness,” Yukhei picked up the abandoned fighting staffs.

“Pf, I know. Is it just me or am I getting worse at this instead of better?”

“No, not at all... it’s only your defense, Highness.”

“Yes. The defense. I know. Despite the fact that I’ve been defending myself so many times these past months I’ve lost count.”

Commander Wong’s face softened, “The ministers are still hell-bent on getting you married before the next summer festival?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck huffed, ridding himself of his protective wear, “and they’re not even subtle about it anymore. The minister of finance has started inviting potential suitors to the _palace._ One can only imagine what he thinks will happen once I meet one of them? Fall in love on first sight? Ever since my brother has gotten married all of them have only become _more_ eager to ship me off to the next best country! I’m surprised this hasn’t become an official position yet. _Minister of getting Prince Donghyuck married_.”

“This is probably the most interesting thing to happen to them before the end of their lives”, Commander Wong shrugged, lips pulled into a teasing smile, “besides, it’s, of course, something to boast about if you’ve managed to find a match for the _ice prince_ himself.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck deadpanned, “you would think people would start taking a hint after gracing me with such a charming nickname.”

“Well, an imperial wedding is a spectacle unlike anything else and the emperor’s wedding was quite _something_. Commoners, nobles, princes – everyone loves a great celebration.”

“Oh, I certainly remember a certain someone enjoying last year’s festivities”, Donghyuck grinned, eyes glinting with mischief.

The prince didn’t miss the tips of the commander’s ears turning red before he cleared his throat.

“For when should I schedule the next training session, Your Highness? Tomorrow?”

“Are you going to beat me up every day now? That’s not how you should treat a groom-to-be.”

The commander merely raised an eyebrow.

“It would certainly surprise me to see Your Highness as a groom anytime soon.”

Donghyuck bit his lip, contemplative.

“What about you, Commander Wong? I’m sure one of your many admirers must have caught your eye by now?”

“I fear my affection is rather one-sided,” Yukhei replied laughing, “but I will make sure to inform Your Highness if a wedding should take place. Now, allow me to clean up.”

 

As soon as they left the training halls, Donghyuck hurried along the long corridors, desperate to get to his chambers as fast as possible. He was determined to show no reaction. _He was in control of his emotions._

He came to a stop and with him Renjun, his valet, and Commander Wong, bodyguard and the constant shadow of His Highness.

“Renjun?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Please pass on my apology to Master Lao but I will not be able to make it to the lesson today.”

“You will not?”, Renjun asked confused. Everyone knew how much the prince enjoyed his piano lessons.

“Yes. I think I have a headache.”

“Oh! Do you want me to notify Doctor Qian?”

“That will not be necessary, thank you. A bit of silence will be enough.”

“If you say so, Highness,” Renjun bowed and left to carry out the order.

 

Behind Donghyuck the commander frowned. A headache? That was an unusual occurrence. He would have to pay more attention to the prince’s health in the following days. Silently he continued accompanying his protégé to his chambers.

 

As usual, Donghyuck waited in the small antechamber in front of his chambers, until his personal guard had inspected those. After confirming that no one had in fact invaded the palace, Commander Wong finished his patrol.

“Do you need anything else, Your Highness?”

“No, Commander, this will be it. Thank you”, he responded clipped.

As always he only left once Donghyuck had closed the doors to his chambers behind himself. In his chambers he was safer than anywhere else, seeing as in front of the big double doors were two guards positioned at all times and other guards did their patrols in the courtyard.

 

Finally alone in his chambers, Donghyuck rang for Jaemin. Once the servant arrived, he helped him take off the light robes he had been wearing beneath the protective wear and remove the remaining makeup smeared on his face.

“I’ve drawn a bath. Do you want me to make you a cup of tea, Your Highness?”

“No, thank you, Jaemin.”

That was Jaemin’s cue to retreat.

Donghyuck entered the bathroom and undressed. He inhaled the scent of the aromatic candles lit around the bath, slowly sinking into the pleasantly warm water. He tried to focus on the steam dancing in the air, tried to go through tomorrow’s schedule in his head, tried to think about the last piece he had to memorize. He tried everything to distract himself. All in vain.

Once his body was submerged in the water, he finally allowed the sadness to take over and his tears to fall. He was so _stupid._ Such a _child_ , crying over things that he could not change.


	2. Chapter 2

_7 years ago, eastern part of the empire_

 

It was a sweltering summer day in the old town constructed by Emperor Taehyun the 3rd himself. The streets were empty as everyone was seeking shelter from the oppressive heat, flowers hung their heads sadly waiting for the smallest drop of water.

 

Kim Doyoung, on his part adviser of the recently crowned emperor and decidedly not a heat enthusiast, rushed down the wide stairs of a marble reception area.

“Lord Kim, we are most honored..”

Doyoung flashed the servant a strained smile.

“Where is Duchess Wong? I must see her immediately.”

“Her Grace”, emphasized the servant miffed, “is dining.”

“Oh, great. I’m more than willing to discuss matters over dinner. Honestly, to be frank, I would never turn down a chance to try the eastern cuisine.”

“I’m afraid you’ve arrived at a really inconvenient time, my lord.”

“When are matters of the crown ever convenient? I’m acting on direct orders of our beloved emperor, may he reign forever,” Doyoung smiled, all teeth.

Not paying the fumbling servant any further attention, Doyoung stalked across the polished floor, steps echoing in the hall.

“But... Your Lordship!”

The young adviser ignored the remark, knocked against the big double doors leading to the dining room and opened them in a sweeping motion.

 

Inside the ancient green salon that had been used as a dining room for centuries, sat a tall woman at the end of a long banquet table, nursing a glass of wine in her right hand. It smelled like old wood, even older stone, and ashes. All the big windows were closed and it was surprisingly cold, the contrast from the heat outside sending shivers down Doyoung’s spine.

 

After she noticed the intruder the duchess got up from her seat, a smile playing on her lips.

“Lord Kim! What a pleasant surprise.”

“Your Grace,” Doyoung bowed shortly to the older woman.

“What brings you here? My sadness at your rejection to work for this household is dimmed by seeing you next to our emperor, may his reign last forever, but if you have reconsidered my offer..”

“You flatter me, Your Grace. But I’m very devoted to my duties,” Doyoung strutted across the room, “I’m sure you’ve heard by now that His Excellency is striving to establish a new military branch of the Imperial Academy.”

“I’ve heard rumors but I do not like to pay them too much mind.”

“Well, they’re true. A strong country needs a strong military,” Doyoung poured himself a glass of wine, “I’m acting on His Imperial Majesty’s direct orders to assemble the most promising young men fitting to enroll in the academy.”

The duchess froze, sat back down and closed her eyes briefly.

“Absolutely not.”

“Your Grace, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Graduates from the Imperial Academy are guaranteed the brightest futures imaginable, I myself attended-”

“He is my only son!”, she exclaimed, mouth set in a straight line.

“All the more reason to enable him to go on to a brilliant career! Ever since the tragedy, it has become the young emperor’s greatest concern to ensure the safety of his subjects. You must understand that.”

The duchess gripped her wine glass so tightly, her knuckles stood out white.

“You _dare_ and speak to me of that night? Of _safety?_ ”, Her Grace clenched her fists, “my husband died that night. And now you want to take my son as well? I don’t want to hear another word.”

“Why,” Doyoung burst out, “why can’t you see reason? You are not the only one who lost a loved one. But the empire didn’t collapse, so now someone has to run it and ensure that nothing like that night will ever happen again!”

Doyoung took a deep breath.

“You and I both know that Yukhei is one of the most talented fighters in this country, he has potential unlike anyone else. We need him, Your Grace. _The empire_ needs him.”

As the Duchess finally looked up, the anger in her eyes had made way for tired resignation. She got up.

“Get out”, she whispered.

“Your Grace-”

“ _Get out_!”

“Mother!”

 

Doyoung and the duchess turned at the sound of the new voice. There, in the doorway stood Wong Yukhei, clutching a bag to his chest. He was almost as tall as his mother, lanky limbs trying to fill out his stature, an easy smile gracing his comely face.

“I’m going,” he said, eyes gleaming determined.

“Absolutely not!”, the duchess retorted.

“I’m old enough to make my own decisions!”

“Not as long as you live under my roof!”

“I’m moving out!”

“I am your mother!”

Yukhei sighed, approaching the duchess with slow steps.

“Please, mother. Let me become the person you and father raised me to be.”

“How can you say that? You see where his devotion to the empire got him!”

“This is exactly the reason why I want to get trained at the Imperial Academy! There’s no better place to teach me how to protect the ones I love. Can’t you see that I’m doing this for you?”

“He will be in the best hands,” Doyoung assured, “no harm will come to him while he is taught in the academy. It’s the best teaching environment this country has to offer. And after the three years are up he will be able to freely chose his career path, everything will be up to Yukhei.”

 

The duchess silently regarded the two men in front of her, before sighing dejectedly. The remaining fight bled out of her eyes that now calmly focused on her son.

“I will let you go under two conditions. First of all,” she turned to Yukhei, “you will take all your subject seriously and make your teachers proud. Don’t put yourself in unnecessary danger. Second of all,” she narrowed her eyes at Doyoung, “Lord Kim will vouch for your safety at the academy. If I hear that he gets as much as a hangnail..”

Doyoung gulped.

“Of course, Your Grace.”

 

 

 

_4 years ago, imperial palace_

 

Walking across the polished floors in the most inner part of the palace was more than intimidating, yet Yukhei couldn’t help but try to take in as much of the scenery as he could. Silently following a soldier, he walked down the winding corridors. Since the morning he was asking himself why Lord Kim would wish to see him. He hadn’t done anything scandalous as far as he was aware. Though he wasn’t quite sure what had happened at that one Saturday a month ago in the soldier’s bar when he’d had a few drinks too much… But surely Lord Kim would not want to speak to him of that, would he?

The big double doors in front of him opened and the guard mutely signaled him to enter the room. Putting on a mask of false confidence, Yukhei stalked forward.

 

The emperor’s right hand sat behind a desk, deeply concentrated on a document in front of him in the cold office.

“My Lord,” Yukhei bowed.

“Yukhei. How are you?”, Doyoung looked up.

“Fine, Your Lordship.”

“That’s good news. I’m pleased to not have faced Duchess Wong’s wrath yet,” Doyoung smiled, “Though that might change after today.”

Suddenly, Yukhei felt his stomach drop.

“Your teachers sent me your yearly report. You seem to be making the best improvements everywhere. But.. to be honest, I still have a small problem.”

“A problem?”, nervously he searched the lord’s eyes, “I can put in even more effort!”

“I highly doubt that - you’re already top of your class in all fields. Which is why I’ve received these letters.”

Doyoung held up two very important looking documents.

“In this one, Professor Kang asks me to make you his student. He especially praises your quick comprehension and powers of deduction.” He put down the letter.

“And in this one, your combat teacher urges me to let you be trained as a guard. For roughly the same reasons. The decision will be yours to make, you have one week of time to decide if you want to accept one of these offers.”

 

A guard? His teacher thought he was qualified enough to become a guard assigned to protect the imperial family?

_His father’s face flashed before his eyes – kind eyes, a hand ruffling his hair, a gruff laugh and a low voice speaking “I know you will become someone amazing, son. Promise me to take care of yourself and those around you. Those with real strength are those who are able to protect their loved ones.”_

 

“One week of time? I… I don’t need to think for that long, my lord.”

“You don’t?”

“As a guard, it would be possible for me to protect people?”

“Not just anyone. The imperial family. But yes, you would be trained to protect them,” Doyoung smiled softly, “I must warn you that there is no harder training than the one for the position of an imperial guard.”

“I know”, Yukhei said.

“Yukhei,” Doyoung said quietly, “I know that you think you owe it to your late father to become someone who’s able to defend himself and others, but you are already more than capable of that. Nobody expects you to go this far.”

“But I want to”, he stated determinedly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Doyoung sighed, “your mother is going to kill me, young man.”

Remembering the fury on his mother’s face when he told him of his aspirations, he winced guiltily. He loved his mother, but living under her overbearing nature after his father’s death had been torture – his years at the academy a pleasant distraction from the sadness inhabiting his childhood house.

 

 

 

 

_A month later, training halls_

 

In the middle of the room stood small troop of men, each of them wearing uniforms revealing them as graduated students of the Imperial Academy. Here in this place, it didn’t matter which grades they had achieved or who had written them a recommendation letter. They were nothing but new recruits. Fresh meat.

The concentrated nervousness of the crowd was almost tangible.

 

The door to the training halls opened with a loud screeching noise and an officer walked in. His golden epaulets reflecting the sunlight, the commander turned to address the young men, his scarred face expressionless.

“Good morning”, he said calmly.

“Good morning, commander!”, the troop shouted immediately.

“It’s really him”, someone whispered next to Yukhei.

“I can’t believe we’re in the same room as Kim Kanghoon”, another soldier replied stunned.

“I see you know who I am,” the commander began slowly striding up and down in front of the crowd, “in the next months I will most likely make each and every one of you wither in pain.”

The men tried to keep unimpressed expressions.

“Not to bring me joy. But to prepare you for the reality of working in the highest class of the imperial military. You all have been selected as the most promising recruitment for the imperial guard, I am going to make sure you realize how foolish you have been.”

Confused, the crowd blinked.

“Becoming a guard is a foolish aspiration! You are going to experience the most painful years of your life. Discipline, training, and pain for the rest of your life. If you’re lucky, in that order.”

The commander came to a halt.

“I’m not trying to intimidate anyone, but I have to know who’s ready to make the necessary sacrifices and who isn’t. Don’t be discouraged if you turn out to be unsuited for this field of work, there are plenty of other options for graduates of the Imperial Academy. Not everyone has the talent to become a shadow.”

Yukhei bit his lip. This is what he had trained for, what he had spent his nights preparing for while his friends lay sound asleep. He could not back down now. If he was lacking in talent, he would just have to make up for it with dedication and hard work.

“Now let’s start with the first lesson.”

 

 

Every guard in training was granted a small room in the second outer ring of the palace, but few of them were as sparsely decorated as Yukhei’s. He saw it fit to treat it like he had his dorm in the academy, as a place to sleep and nothing more. He preferred to keep his personal belonging safely stored away in his desk rather than displaying them for strangers’ eyes. Rooming together with two other men for several years had made him value even the slightest bit of privacy, a notion that was hard to shake even as he enjoyed the comfort of his own room now.

 

Yukhei was just about to change into his training clothes when the door to his room was suddenly slammed open without prior announcement.

“Now what the hell are you doing?”, Ten, respectively fellow guard in training and previously mentioned former roommate Yukhei’s asked, strutting inside the room and taking the clothes from his hands.

“Ten.”

“Were you really going to go back to the training halls?”

“Your powers of observation are certainly remarkable.”

“Not as remarkable as your stupidity. We literally just got beat up seven ways to Sunday. I still can’t feel my legs and at this point, I’m not sure I even want to. What do you think you’re going to accomplish?”

“I’m going to practice so I don’t embarrass myself in our next lessons, once is more than enough.”

“Embarrass? Wong, you were _by far_ the best of us all. Relax a little,” Ten whined, pulling his friend towards the door, “let’s go the soldier’s bar and talk. I want to introduce you to some people.”

“The last time you tried doing that it just ended with me being totally wasted,” Yukhei deadpanned, really not eager to relive that experience. It had felt good to let go of his worries for a second and indulge himself by pretending he could be careless, but he could not afford such things anymore now.

“This time will be different, I promise,” Ten said, eyes gleaming, “We’re all training to be high ranked members of the military, us getting wasted like common soldiers would certainly be _embarrassing_.”

“It would do me good to do a bit of weightlifting,” Yukhei protested.

“No, what would do you good is having some free time! Interacting with people! If you can remember how to do that. Learn a bit about life in the palace, about the people here. I still can’t believe you didn’t know how Commander Kim looks like.”

Yukhei flushed ashamed at that. Of course, he knew who Commander Kim was – the crown prince’s personal guard who had sacrificed his life to protect his protégé was famous all throughout the empire – but if it weren’t for the recruits next to him he never would have recognized the man standing before him. Maybe Ten did have a point in his attempts to drag Yukhei out of his training sessions, becoming familiar with the people in the palace could prove helpful later on when he was stationed as a guard.

 

The bar, located just a few streets down from the palace gates, was filled with men in more or less decorated uniforms, standing out among the plainly dressed commoners. Either sitting together at the long magnolia tables or pressing up against the crowd while yelling out their next order, the atmosphere was elated. Yukhei had let himself be dragged in a barely lit corner of the establishment, where Ten enthusiastically hugged the two other men already seated there.

“Yukhei, these are Dong Sicheng and Nakamoto Yuta. They’re from the northern regions close to my hometown. Yuta works for Lord Lee’s household while Sicheng is studying medicine,” Ten turned around to gesture to Yukhei, “and this is Wong Yukhei. We attended the Imperial Academy together.”

“Nice to meet you”, Sicheng smiled.

“We’ve heard a lot,” Yuta added, quirking his brow.

“Hopefully only good stories,” Yukhei laughed, “how did you get to know each other?”

“Yuta and I were classmates as well, we went separate ways as I applied for an apprenticeship in the imperial pharmacy while Yuta got an offer to work under Lord Lee but we never lost contact. I met Ten here under rather ... unusual circumstances,” Sicheng chuckled, “I had to fix up his wrist after he got into a rather inglorious fight with his desk lamp.”

“Sicheng’s a good guy,” Ten called out, “graduated with top marks, flourishing under Doctor Qian’s mentoring and he won’t charge you for treating injuries.”

“Only if no one innocent came to harm besides yourself,” Sicheng’s smile made way for a serious expression, eyes fixated on Yukhei, “If you have the time to pick fights, you have the money to pay me.”

“But is the other person really innocent if they provoked you? Sometimes a fight is justified,” Yuta leaned forward, grinning at Sicheng.

“Which is why I didn’t report you to the general,” Sicheng huffed, “but it doesn’t mean I will be indulging your recklessness. Especially if it involves Lee Mark of all people, at least pick someone that isn’t _that_ close to the imperial family, seriously.”

“Huh? Who’s that?”, Yukhei questioningly turned towards Ten.

“Lord Lee’s eldest son and an upcoming general, you will run into him in the palace for sure – he’s close with the crown prince.”

“I’ll introduce you two if you want!”, Yuta offered.

Yukhei quirked a brow.

“We’re friends! You have an argument that results in physical violence _once_ and no one will let you live it down I swear..”

 

 

_Two years ago, a week after being appointed Prince Donghyuck’s guard, training halls_

 

Close combat training had ended a few minutes ago and apart from two men the halls were deserted. One of them was Lieutenant Wong. To all his friends’ greatest displeasure, this was a surprise to no one. He entered the training halls as the first one and left the latest. Ten had long given up on changing this particular habit, though he never failed to comment on it. Lately, however, one could find Wong Yukhei in unusual company. At this moment as well Commander Kim was talking away at him.

 

“If he’s nervous or sad he will play with the rings on his fingers.”

“I understand.”

“Or he will sit at his parent’s memorial – may they lay in peace.”

Yukhei nodded while taking the bandages off his knuckles.

“You should also pay attention that he doesn’t destroy all his expensive robes while playing around.”

“Yes.”

“And if he has a lot of lessons..”

“I have to make sure he eats enough. I know, Kanghoon.”

“Hm”, murmured the commander, “seems like I’ve told you all of this before.”

“Yes.”

“Well... it’s not easy to give up all the responsibility. He was my protégé for eight years. “

“Kanghoon, I’ll guard him with my life.”

“I know that, boy. It’s just... he’s grown so close to my heart. I can’t help but worry,” Kanghoon placed a hand on Yukhei’s shoulder, “I have full faith in you.”

“They always try to tell us to keep emotional distance to our charges, in order to keep a cold head. But let me tell you – being a guard is so much more than that. Get to know them, let them into your heart and you’ll be able to go to lengths unimaginable,” he touched his scarred face almost absentmindedly, “to keep them safe.”

“Those with real strength are those who are able to protect their loved ones”, Yukhei echoed his father’s words, face pulled into a frown.

 

In the following weeks, things between the prince and guard changed from an awkward and cold atmosphere to good-natured bickering about current bets _(right now the hot debate was whether or not the emperor and the southern ambassador had something going on and Yukhei was right, of course),_ the guard coughing quietly when Donghyuck was on the verge of falling asleep during a lesson and smiling at the prince’s enthusiastic greetings each morning. On the other hand, Donghyuck had taken to paying closer attention to his guard too – making sure to plan his schedule around his a _ctually almost fully healed_ leg wound so Yukhei would have to stand as little as possible and even thinking of something as insignificant as coffee. Since he heard that Yukhei liked drinking it, there always was a sufficient amount in the luggage during travels.

It truly was hard not to become fond of the prince, when he turned his big eyes on someone and gave them his full undivided attention, no matter if they were simply responsible for bleaching the laundry or seemingly influenced the course of the world.

Even his endless teasing about Yukhei’s height was somewhat endearing. But only _somewhat._

 

 

 

 

_A year ago, a day before His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor’s wedding_

 

“No dance partner?” Master Park exclaimed.

Quiet whispering could be heard.

“He broke his leg? What about the brother?”

“Not there. If he had known this would happen..”

“This is a nightmare”, seethed the master, “we have to be one hundred percent prepared and we still need practice on the opening dance. Just because His Imperial Majesty and his betrothed had to choose a traditional southern dance! What am I going to do?”

“You’re surely shouldering a lot of responsibility,” Renjun, the first valet of his highness, said calmly, “But maybe you would like to mind your tone in front of His Imperial Highness?”

“Oh, it’s fine”, the prince said, straightening his robe, “I don’t particularly like the dance either.”

The first attempts had, in fact, looked rather unsuccessful. Watching the prince holding so tight unto Lee Mark and Lee Jeno of all people had stirred something uncomfortable in Yukhei’s stomach, which had only been slightly alleviated by the fact that all of them looked extremely uncomfortable the entire time.

“Ah, I’m sure it’s just the lack of practice,” Renjun said placating to the prince.

“We didn’t have enough time for this southern nonsense! And now we don’t have a dance partner! We can’t practice this humbug without it!”

“I think I have an idea,” Renjun smiled evilly, “Commander?”

“Lord Huang?”

“If I’m not wrong, you were taught how to dance?”

“.. Excuse me?” Yukhei feared the outcome of this exchange, deliberately not looking into the valet’s direction.

“It’s almost the same as fighting, isn’t it? I’m sure even with little practice you’ll be able to keep up.”

“I don’t think that..”

“What about the southern dance?” Master Park asked, seemingly already convinced of the idea.

“I know the steps,” Yukhei admitted, dejected.

“Maybe the southern dance isn’t that important after all!” His Highness exclaimed.

“Since His Excellency described it as ‘very charming and so exciting’ and ‘we’re doing this often now’, I’m afraid it is.”

“Great. As long as the commander knows how to dance it. Crisis averted,” Master Park said, prompting them to move toward the dance floor.

Yukhei stood rooted to the spot. “I know the steps, nothing more.”

“Come stand here! This can’t be harder than disarming an entire army can it?”

Not harder, no. Not when your body was used to precisely moving at fast speed. It should not have been harder, but as Yukhei suddenly held Lee Donghyuck in his arms he wasn’t so sure of that anymore. He had to fight against his impulses to leave the room and hold the prince tighter at the same time.

 

“Closer!” Master Park instructed.

 _Even closer,_ Yukhei thought in despair. This close up he could count the prince’s lashes fanning his rosy colored cheeks. He must have done something abnormally terrible in his past life to deserve this torture. They hadn’t even started yet and he already regretted ever consenting to his own personal hell.

“No, no. Not like that. The commander’s so tall, you will have to lift your head, highness.”

The prince followed the instructions reluctantly, allowing Yukhei to gaze directly into his eyes clouded by a not recognizable emotion.

“I’ll apologize in advance for stepping on your feet,” Donghyuck said, not sounding very apologetic at all.

“You better not do it on purpose, highness,” Yukhei grumbled, prompting a teasing smile from his protégé. His heart jumped and Yukhei froze again. Something was differently wrong with him, usually, a simple smile directed at him would not make him feel this.. flustered. He had tried to mention the inexplicable heart palpitations he was experiencing lately to his friends, but they had just laughed and muttered something about him growing up. Good for nothing the lot of them.

 

“Good. Lord Huang, you can start playing.”

The valet dutifully began pressing the keys of the piano in front of him.

“One, two, three. One, two, three. You have to lead more, commander. Try to forget that you have His Imperial Highness in front of you. One, two, three. One, two, three. Yes! This is it! Try to make your movements a bit bigger and be more energetic. One, two, three. One, two, three. Great! Flawless posture! It looks so graceful. Actually, this southern nonsense is better than I thought.”

 

Actually, Yukhei felt as if that dance was the best thing to ever happen to him. Holding the prince so close, staring into his big eyes and catching his smiles as they twirled across the dance floor, feeling as if they were completely lost in one another. It had been a long time since he had felt so light and content – suddenly he never wanted to do anything else but sweep over the floor, holding the prince in his arms.

 

Feeling confident in his piano skills, Renjun looked up from the keys in front of him. Catching sight of the dancing pair, a knowing smile formed on his lips. And apparently, he was not the only one taking notice of the situation.

“Who would have thought. The two of them make a magnificent couple,” whispered Master Park astounded.

He had so much to tell to Jaemin later.

“He dances so much more nimbly and confidently with the commander than with Lord Lee’s sons.”

“He is an officer after all. All that training has to be good for something, doesn’t it?”, Renjun laughed. _And he grew up with Jeno and Mark, of course, he’s going to be more awkward when being so intimate with them compared to his attractive guard,_ silently added in his head.

“Oh, truly magical!”, Master Park exclaimed, clapping his hands, “Now I have no doubts you will do truly amazing tomorrow. You dance so beautifully together!”

If Renjun wasn’t mistaken a faint rosy hue was gracing both the commander’s and the prince’s cheeks. _Very interesting_. He really did have a lot to tell to Jaemin later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um wow this took a /lot/ longer than planned.. but well life happened - i graduated high school and applied to universities.. yay..  
> i thoroughly despise all the military endorsement here fbhdhef also next chapter less flashbacks and more plot development i pinky promise hehe


	3. Chapter 3

_A year ago, the day of the wedding_

 

Countless guests had assembled in the biggest ballroom of the imperial palace following the golden lettered invitation to celebrate His Imperial Majesty Emperor Taeyong’s and Lord Johnny of the southern lands, from the house of Seo’s wedding. Their vows had been exchanged in a smaller circle in the throne room a few moments before, under the guidance of both the high priest that officiated all imperial weddings, crowning and funerals and a priest from the southern lands that sang a lot of hymns and made the couple drink from a cup together to symbolize how they would become one. There was a lot of crying involved, courtesy of Doyoung and Taeil. Donghyuck did certainly _not_ shed any tears, thank you very much. Whoever claimed otherwise clearly was tricked by the water in their own eyes.

“It’s okay to be moved Hyuckie, I can’t believe that Taeyong is interested in anything other than a book either”, Doyoung had said, clasping him on the shoulder.

”Well, _I_ always knew he had a hidden romantic side”, Lord Taeil, respectively the cousin of the freshly married emperor added, “but that he actually got someone to agree to marry him...”

Their teasing was somewhat undetermined by the fact that both of them still had glassy eyes.

 

 

The wedding couple’s entrance into the room was accompanied by shouting, clapping and golden bands being thrown into the air. Donghyuck had the honor of being the first one to congratulate the pair and fastening a band on each of their wrists. After this last part of the ceremony was fulfilled, the celebrations could finally start. They would have to greet the masses assembled in front of the palace gates later in the evening, but for now, one was focused on dancing. The Southern humbug specifically, as Master Park had described it.

 

As the imperial orchestra began to play the first tact of the dance, the couple moved in the middle of the ballroom so that all eyes could follow their moves. Donghyuck knew that he was expected to join in immediately after this opening dance was over and his eyes glanced over to his guard who stood right behind him. His heartbeat strangely fast in his chest at the thought of dancing with his shadow. _Not at all like how it had been with Mark and Jeno._ He stared hard at his friend who had forsaken him to dance with Renjun tonight instead. _You will pay for this,_ he thought to the back of Jeno’s head, not even sure why he was dreading this dance so much suddenly. For good measure, he silently cursed Mark for breaking his leg as well. A bunch of great friends he had.

 

Taking a deep breath, he took the Commander’s offered hand and let him lead him on the dance floor. His rough hands against Donghyuck’s own, his body pressed so close he could feel his warmth, staring into his eyes… his pulse went just as crazy as it did in the dance lesson the day before. Maybe it was his age. Just yesterday Taeil had looked at him, sighed, shook his head and said he was going through a difficult phase after all. Recently, he had been noticing these weird heart palpitations at the weirdest moments – when Professor Son made him practice his drawing skills by outlining his guard’s face and he risked a glance at his eyes for example.

 

“Do you see what I mean?” Renjun whispered excitedly to Jeno.

“He definitely didn’t look at _me_ like that while dancing.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you! I’m betting good money on both of them becoming a thing. Jaemin thinks I’m overreacting but _look at them!”_

“You say that about everyone,” Jaemin huffed, taking a sip of his drink, “you were _convinced_ Emperor Taeyong and Lord Kim were on more than friendly terms. Look how that turned out.”

“That was totally different! How was I supposed to know the letters they exchanged were delivered to someone entirely else?”

 

Behind them, Lady Ming, who had been a lady-in-waiting to the late empress and had often looked after His Imperial Highness as a child, furrowed her brows in worry, the grip on her wine glass tightening. _This would not do._

 

 

 

At the end of the evening, Donghyuck’s cheeks were glowing red – and not solely because of the Southern wine that was so gratuitously offered. He had retired to his chamber and Jaemin had just left after helping him take off the heavy robes he was wearing and brushing his hair after taking out the different combs and hairpins. His head was still slightly fuzzy from all the alcohol, dancing and _body contact,_ so he had obeyed his head servant docilely while being wrapped in lighter robes and made to sit down on his bed. Hearing a knock he called for them to enter, feeling too drained to get up. A familiar face opened the door to his chambers and Lady Ming stepped into the room.

 

“A glass of water, highness?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you,” he said, taking the offered cup.

“Your Highness..”

“Yes?”

“I have come because.. well.. I worry. Do you think your behavior is really.. appropriate?”

Confusion cleared the fuzziness in Donghyuck’s head away.

“My behavior?”

“Well… yes. I would never think to criticize you...”

“I feel like you’re already doing that.”

“Forgive me. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“What should you not have said, Lady Ming?”

“Nothing!”

Donghyuck straightened up.

“I want to know. How do I behave inappropriately?”

“Well… your feelings for the commander.”

“ _What?”_ Donghyuck’s eyes got even bigger than they were before, “Feelings? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t have to feel uncomfortable, Highness. Wong Yukhei is an immensely charming, dashing officer that makes everyone’s heart leap. Your reaction is absolutely natural.”

“How.. how can you..? I’m not ‘everyone’! And I’m not showing reactions!”

Lady Ming soon realized that she was in way over her head. God, the poor boy hadn’t even recognized his own feelings yet!

 

“Calm down, Your Imperial Highness! I didn’t mean..”

Meanwhile, Donghyuck had jumped up and stood at one of the big windows.

“Is it that obvious?” he whispered while looking into the night sky.

“Pardon?”

“Is it obvious? Have I embarrassed myself?”

“Embarrassed? But no, you..”

“But you noticed,” heaved the young man out, “I have embarrassed myself!”

“No! No, my prince, you didn’t. I just know you too well.”

“Did my brother notice?”

“Well… maybe. I don’t know. I think he is aware of how attached you are to your guard. But with his own relationship blossoming and the wedding preparations he probably was too busy to notice anything more.”

“Oh god! Oh god… what am I going to do?”

“What you are going to do? Nothing, Highness. Just don’t let it show. Present a facade of relaxed cheerfulness and no one will notice that you’ve developed feelings for an improper man.”

“Improper?” Donghyuck turned around. “Why should Commander Wong be improper?” he asked defiantly.

“But, my prince, he is just a member of the palace guard.”

“He is more than that. He is my personal guard! And.. also brave, honest, respectable and.. and.. noble.”

“You are an imperial prince!”

“And? My brother is an emperor and he married a mere lord of a country one fourth our size. My family doesn’t care for class snobbery. I’m sure if I..”  


“And the commander himself?” Lady Ming asked quietly.

“What?”

“Have you thought about him? Do you want to compromise him like this? How should he react if you were to make advances? Going along with it would make him look bad, likewise, he can not alienate you by rejecting. He would be in an impossible quagmire. Do you really want to test his sense of honor?”

“Quagmire? But… my well-being is of great importance to him. I know that!”

“My prince,” Lady Ming said softly, “you are his protégé. And the little brother of his ruler. Of course, your well-being is of great importance to him. It’s his duty as a subject and as your guard. If you interpret the situation wrong, you will make it impossible for him.”

 

Interpret it wrong? Did he interpret everything wrong? His worry for him? His obligingness?

“His loyalty to your brother may even force him to quit,” the older woman warned quietly.

Quit? No, everything, but that!

“I will not let any of it show anymore,” Donghyuck whispered.

“Good!” she squeezed his hand, “the commander is without a doubt a very honorable man. But I’m sure his decency and sense of duty would forbid any kind of strong feelings towards you. As your guard, he has to maintain emotional distance.”

 

God! Wasn’t this basically what his brother had told him before too? That the commander couldn’t act around him as he did with everyone else? He had misunderstood everything, he..

What ‘everything’ even? The commander had just been obliging, considerate and understanding. Not more and not less. He probably only saw a stupid, helpless _child_ in him.

Had he noticed his feelings? Had he possibly already been embarrassed by him?

 

Seeing the crown prince so churned up inside, Lady Ming attempted the last consolation.

“Believe me, highness, at your age you will find a new love quickly. With a little time, this crush will be gone. In retrospective, you will laugh about the ridiculousness of teenage feelings.”

 

 

 

_A few weeks ago, imperial cabinet_

 

“Marriage has been good to Your Imperial Majesty. You’re positively glowing if I may say so, Sire,” remarked Kim Sihun, minister of home affairs.

The emperor put down his pen, looked up and leaned back.

“So you’re saying I was lacking energy before my marriage?”

“No of course not! I would never..” Sihun backtracked, suddenly not all that confident in his plan anymore, “your sense of humor truly never fails to amuse me, Your Imperial Majesty. Be that as it may.. being married does you good, Your Excellency.”

Taeyong hummed in agreement, “Who would it not do good?”

“Yes, everyone benefits from a good marriage, of course. But Your Imperial Majesty does it especially good! And if Your Excellency is glowing, the country is flourishing.”

“Of course. Now if you could come straight to the point.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sihun”, the document in front of the emperor was shut close, “don’t take me for a fool. What is it you want to tell me?”

“I.. The cabinet... we’re worried, Sire.”

“About _what_? The unemployment rates? The textile industry?”

“Well, that too, to be honest. But our greatest worry concerns.. Crown Prince Donghyuck.”

 

The emperor narrowed his eyes.

“Interesting. You’re worried about my little brother. Am I allowed to learn why?”

“It’s just that um.. We think it’s appropriate that he started considering.. he’s nineteen years old! He’ll be too old to get married soon!” Sihun heaved out.

Under other circumstances, Taeyong would have surely appreciated the hilarity of the statement. But this was a topic he had had one too many debates about already.

“Excuse me?”, his voice was dangerously low.

“I mean, of course, he’s not _really_ going to get too old, but we think it would be appropriate to start planning a wedding rather..soon..”

“And I think it would be appropriate for you to remain quiet now.”

The emperor pushed back his chair that fell to the ground with a loud _thud._

“My brother is currently not in love and has expressed no desire for that kind of relationship with anyone. And I will not force him into marriage. End of discussion.”

 

Once, maybe twice a year it just so happened that Emperor Taeyong the First, may he reign forever, made a mistake. This was one of those rare occurrences.

‘ _My brother is currently not in love.’_

The truth hid in this statement’s opposite direction of the universe.

 

 

_Present_

 

Han Minkyu, who had just recently succeeded his father and became a duke, came to the imperial palace with one single goal. To conquer. As heir of the Han family, it could almost be seen as his duty. His family had produced important men. Real daredevils who didn’t back down from any fight. Everyone of marriageable age worshiped the ground they walked on.

 

It would be no different for him. His victory was basically already decided.

 

Target of his recent plans was Lee Donghyuck.

The crown prince was a more than rewarding price and without a doubt a tricky one, but that certainly did not cause him sleepless nights.

 

A year ago at the emperor’s wedding, he had seen him for the first time. A graceful incline of the head, a short smile and a brief glance beneath bowed lashes. More he had not gifted him.

But Minkyu had obviously understood the hidden longing in that glance. The well-tried ‘don't-touch-me’ tactic didn’t phase him in the slightest anymore. All the rumors about him being an ice prince? Nonsense spread by helplessly stammering admirers who didn’t have enough fire to melt the boy.

 

The boy was picky. So what? As imperial highness, he surely deserved the best of the best.

Yes, he could practically see it in front of him. He and the brother Taeyong’s the First. The most beautiful couple in the nation.

Han Minkyu would conquer this supposedly invulnerable citadel in no time. Did he mention that this was always the case?

 

 

_At the same time_

 

Donghyuck was tired. Incredibly tired. No wonder, after an almost sleepless night. His mind had not let him rest, whispering traitorous words into his ear.

 

Currently, he sat in a shadowy spot on a veranda and tried in vain to listen to a banal conversation about the newest summer fashion. As the summer festival was about to approach, nobles who were usually confined to their remote country estates had assembled and were eager to exchange words about the big, fashionable world. In this, as harmless regarded environment Donghyuck at least could keep some distance from his guard. Still, his eyes seemed to find the man standing guard at a door about 30 meters away on instinct. Fleetly glancing at his impassive face, he couldn’t help but wonder. Just who was it that had managed to catch his interest and then turned him down? Which fool..

“I swear he said violet is going to be the new orange! A _must_ in the new season.”

“Violet?” Count Song squeaked appalled, “then I’ll have to rearrange my whole wardrobe. And violet contrasts so horribly with my skin..”

Since they were seemingly expecting a reaction, Donghyuck nodded weakly.

“Well, of course,  _you_ don’t have to worry about such things, highness. You look magnificent in every color. However, you do look a little pale today.”

“Thankfully pale is the latest craze!”

“Who’s crazy?” Donghyuck mumbled absentmindedly.

The nobles faltered for a short moment before bursting into laughter.

“Ah, the imperial family all have such comical humor,” an older lady chirped, “I will never forget what Lord Taeil told the commanders at the western border after they encircled the swineherd.”

 

At the same time, a member of the imperial family with especially comical humor deemed it appropriate to prove once again the existence of said thing.

Since a few minutes ago Johnny observed how his little brother fascinated stared at the space left to the entrance. He was fairly sure it was the space taken up by Wong Yukhei’s stature.

“Well, Jisung. Are you looking at Commander Wong’s Katana?”

“Mhm,” agreed Jisung and added another piece of cake into his mouth. Meanwhile not leaving his victim out of his eyes even once.

“He got it from Taeyong after .. uh.. no idea who he saved that particular time.”

“Johnny?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think I could become a guard?”

“You want to become one of the shadows?”, asked Johnny. “Really? That’s a pretty big goal you have there!” He tousled the boy’s hair.

“Yeah! They are so cool!”

“That they are I suppose.”

“Do you think I can’t do it?”

“Me? I think you can do everything you want to!”

“Really? And do you think I can become as good as Commander Wong?”, Jisung excitedly wanted to know.

 

Johnny’s playful nature made itself vocal and he decided immediately that someone was in urgent need of having their leg pulled. That being said, he took Jisung by the hand and pulled him forward in order to regard the topic of their discussion from up close.

“As great as Wong, hm?” he asked. “Well! _That_ is going to be hard. He is actually coincidentally the best guard we have right now.”

Jisung looked up to the soldier.

“I know!” he whispered with the volume of a hurricane.

“Have you ever even seen him from up close?”

“No.” The golden cords at the weapon belt of the commander and his sun reflecting badges were regarded with fascination. “So cool!”

“You bet. Commander Wong is _the coolest._ No one has won as many awards as him, he even won the flaming phoenix _twice._ All while being the youngest guard to ever.. eh.. well become a guard.”

Jisung stared at the Commander with an open mouth.

“Oh man, is that cool!”

“As I said. If you want to become like him you’re gonna have to work really hard though. Even in school.”

“In school? Ah noo..”

“Yes! Yukhei here was a total nerd. Am I right, Commander?”

The nerd looked straight forward and only mumbled a “Whatever you say, Your Imperial Majesty.”

“Exactly!” Johnny placed a slap on the Commander’s shoulders which made the blinking badges clatter. He was about to turn back and inspect the cake selection more thoroughly when a deep voice made him pause.

“Majesty?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t forget about our training tomorrow,” Yukhei said, a grin pulling at his mouth corners.

Johnny rolled his eyes and groaned.

“Did I already tell you how damn fast you’re gonna end up in a predicament if you mess with a guard?” he asked Jisung.

“Uncle Doyoung says I shouldn’t say damn.”

“Uh, sure. He’s damn right with that!”

 

 

As it turned evening, Donghyuck could no longer hide among the tea party seeing as the reception for their noble guests was about to begin. So whether he wanted to or not he headed to the big banquet hall and dutifully took over as host, since his brother and his husband had yet to make an appearance.

 

The welcoming reception was already in full spate when the actual hosts finally deemed it appropriate to make their entrance. Everyone, who knew both of them well, did not miss the slight redness on Emperor Taeyong’s cheeks nor the self-satisfied facial expression of the imperial consort.

Prince Donghyuck swiftly ended his current conversation with some duke of the eastern regions to turn towards his brother.

 

“There you are!”

“Yes, Hyuckie. Pardon us! What would we do without you!” whispered his brother hastily.

The flattery did not have the desired effect.

“I don’t have a single clue,” mocked Donghyuck indulgently, “You really should be ashamed.. as the ruling couple.”

Johnny at least had the decency to suddenly be interested in the chandeliers on the ceiling. Almost as if it didn’t concern him at all.

Taeyong was less noble.

“I will be,” he promised, “as soon as I lose my blissful smile.”

“Brother!”

“Taeyong!”

“I don’t expect you to understand. But one day you’re gonna fall in love and then.. we will see.”

“That will not happen,” said Donghyuck quietly.

“Pardon?”

“I will not fall in love.” The prince almost sounded like he meant what he said.

“Donghyuck..”

“Someone in the family has to preserve appearances, right?”

Taeyong saw his brother’s teasing smile just fine. But beforehand sadness and hurt had shimmered in his eyes for a short moment.

“Well I have to get back to our guests since _someone_ took their time I took up the liberty to entertain them,” he announced, completely at ease again. After a fast kiss to his brother’s cheek, he returned back into the crowd.

“Johnny!” whispered Taeyong. “Did you see that?”

“Yes,” he said taken aback.

“He is.. unhappy?”

“Seemingly.”

“My hyuckie?”

“We will change that, my love,” he promised, squeezing Taeyong’s hand.

 

_A day later_

 

Donghyuck moved the bow back in one fluid motion, never leaving his intended mark out of his eyes all the while. Squinting, he envisioned hitting the bullseye and aimed a final time. His arrow hit the target just a breath away from the bullseye with a loud _smack._

He put down his bow, cheeks glowing slightly red and breath coming in short huffs. He hoped the commander would just attribute it to his dedication to the sport, as usual.

The truth was the commander himself was the cause.

Training with him was the only occasion which allowed him to fully take him in – he could steal glances, sometimes could even hope for a light touch when he demonstrated a movement in detail.

He would never admit it but it just so happened that he asked for a second explanation at times only so he could let the sound of his voice wash over him without registering any words or suddenly forgot how to properly hold his bow, in order to feel his breath at the hairline of his neck when he – closely behind his charge – moved his arm.

He absorbed as much of his presence as he could.

This one hour was his heaven.

 

The commander, on the other hand, was busy distancing himself.

Grimly, he tried to ignore the lithe body in front of him, his alluring scent, his melodious voice.

He braced himself for the shock of accidental contact, ignored any shivers crawling down his spine when his fingertips fleetingly grazed his arm.

He tried to blend out his entire enchanting presence as much as he could.

This one hour was his hell.

 

Faster than usual Donghyuck hurried through the palace afterward. His brother had allowed for his presence in the imperial cabinet and Donghyuck could not restrain his excitement at being awarded a front-row seat to the political proceedings of the country. Maybe this circumstance was responsible for his almost collusion with Han Minkyu. That or the fact that the duke had been lounging around for half an hour already. 

A n uncomely, potentially hurtful body contact could just be prevented thanks to the fast extension of W o ng Yukhei’s arm.

Minkyu stared indignant ly at the paw on his chest.  _Who did this man think he was? That impertinent watchdog!_

Since he had no other choice, Minkyu took a step backward. 

His plan had actually been to secure a stumbling prince against his strong, muscled chest.  But this damned soldier the boy took everywhere didn’t seem to know his limits and ruined his fool-proof plan of seduction. 

 

“I beg for your forgiveness, highness. I did not see you coming,” in spite of his anger, the duke purred each of his words. Everyone fell for that. But the boy seemed unimpressed. For now!

A fter all, the duke was distracted and could not fully show off his seductive charms.  The over-dimensioned watchdog fix at ed his eyes on him in a frankly very rude manner. That dog should be taught a lesson on who to  save his  mistrust  for – and that certainly should not include respectable pillars of society like he himself! 

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing happened after all,” Donghyuck replied.

“Oh, but I scared you. I will never forgive myself,” argued Minkyu, placing one hand on his heart and bowing briefly. 

“It takes more than that to scare me. I forgive you if it will ease your conscience.”

“They rightly praise your graciousness, highness.”

D onghyuck lifted a brow. “They do?”

“Oh yes. Just yesterday you sacrificed your time to talk to us mere guests and make us feel welcomed, it was so touching. A golden heart they call it, highness.”

The duke showed off his most charming smile, all teeth.

“And yours seems to be a particularly big heart, duke,” Donghyuck responded dryly. 

Ah! He had heard about his lovers. Good! That meant he had asked about him. 

“It’s just waiting for the right person to catch it.”

“You’re in luck then. There are a lot of skilled trappers at court.”

I nstead of allowing him to catch his hand and place a kiss upon it, the prince tilted his head, smiled politely and murmured, eyes darting behind him: “now, if you would excuse me..”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

 

Face contorted into a frown, Minkyu started after his prize.

Maybe he had gone too far in his tactic of all-out ignoring the boy at the reception yesterday. Nobles tended to get offended if they got ignored, seemed like royals of His Imperial Highness’s status were even more prone to negative reactions. He would have to make up for that mistake as soon as possible. 

He would have to catch the prince away from his watchdog and his evil  glances. That dog would learn his place once the prince was his husband,  Minkyu would make sure of that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha... just expect late updates from now on i guess,,


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for attempted non-consensual kissing in the paragraph starting with "the walls of the elegant pavilion"!! please skip if it could be triggering <3

_imperial palace , somewhere in the kitchens_

 

After finally reaching an agreement about the unemployment insurance system, Taeyong, first of his name, was in high spirits and ventured out to retrieve some celebratory food despite the late hour. Humming, the emperor opened cabinets in search of a certain chocolate pudding.

“Do you have to be so loud? You’re gonna wake up the kitchen staff!”

“Doyoung?”

“The one and only.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh… eating?”

“In the dark?”

“You’re also searching in the dark,” shrugging, Doyoung began to light some candles.

After some light finally illuminated the room, Taeyong could look at Doyoung properly. He was leaning against one of the stony counter-tops, ankles crossed. With his left hand he held a big bowl, with his right one a spoon that was nearly as big.

“Is that the chocolate pudding?”

“Yes”, Doyoung answered with great relish and licked his spoon.

“ _All of it_?”

“No. The leftovers.”

“But all of the leftovers?”

“I think so.”

“This was meant to be my celebratory dessert!” Taeyong exclaimed indignantly.

“Seems like we had the same idea. And well… you were too late old man.”

“Old…Excuse me? you’re only a year younger than me for crying out loud!”

Doyoung just grinned while lifting the spoon to his lips again.

“I should have you thrown into prison for lèse majesté!”

A sigh could be heard from behind him.

“Are we threatening people with prison sentences again? I thought you left that phase behind.”

“Taeil!”

“Is that the chocolate pudding?”

“Hmm”, gushed Doyoung,” Chaewon added some rare sugar. Just for me.”

“For you? Don’t make me laugh. Everyone knows Johnny is obsessed with that stuff.”

“I’m obsessed with what?”, a calm voice came from the door.

“Rare sugar. Imported.”

“Yeah, if it’s mixed in at a good concentration,” Johnny strolled to the drawers in order to inspect the assortment.

“What is this? A family reunion?” Taeyong blinked.

“You’ve been too occupied with the cabinet,” Taeil said, opening a jar, “you meet the strangest creatures down here. Sometimes even the crown prince along with his guard.”

“That reminds me,” Taeyong perked up, “We need to talk, Johnny.”

“Well, that was a short family reunion,” Doyoung turned to leave, the bowl still clutched in his hand.

“Wait! Are you really going to eat all of that by yourself?” Taeil hurried after him.

“Uh.. you don’t have to leave?” confused, Johnny called after them.

“No, thank you!”, Doyoung shouted back,” I’m not bearing witness to an argument that will only end in making out anyways.”

 

“Anyways,” Taeyong cleared his throat, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Congratulations.”

“Johnny!”

“Sorry. About Hyuck?”

“Yes.”

“Me too.”

“And what is your conclusion?”

“A very romantic and cheesy one, I’m afraid.”

“Which would be?”

“He’s in love. Speaking out against love so fiercely is almost always a sign that exactly that is involved.”

“That’s really a very romantic point of view.”

“Well? What is your conclusion?”

“Love.”

“Excuse me?”

“Donghyuck has always been such a sensitive child, he used to speak about love so excited when he was young. I’ve always assumed he was just waiting for the right person. But to imply that the right person doesn’t exist at all.. it just doesn’t sound like my brother. Except if the person does exist and he doesn’t think they can have a future together.”

“Thankfully, _that_ point of view isn’t romantic or cheesy at all. Do you think it could be someone who’s married?”

“Never!”

“But..” Johnny shrugged.

“Donghyuck may be stupid at times - as we are all prone to - but he is not a fool. He would never persuade someone who has already made his vows to someone else. No, I think it’s either someone who he thinks doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or someone he thinks would not be accepted by us.”

“Oh, I know!”, immediately Johnny started fantasizing, “maybe a highwayman?”

“Johnny!”

“What? I heard there are some real gentlemen among them,” he clued in his husband.

“Of course. The best of men. Real heroes,” Taeyong agreed dryly, “But Hyuck has never been ambushed.”

“Unfortunately,” Johnny agreed, “but if he _had_ _been_ , I’m sure he would have fallen in love. Head over heels!”

“Johnny!”

He laughed loudly, before adopting a more serious expression.

“But remember, shortly before our wedding you thought he was in love too. You were _so excited_ because you thought it was..”

“Yukhei!” Taeyong exclaimed. “Of course! You’re brilliant, dear.”

“Brilliant? Why? It turned out to be a mistake after all.”

“That’s what I _thought.”_

 

 

_A few days later_

 

Donghyuck tried his best to respond to the gardener’s questions and suggestions while walking through the ballroom. What had he said again? Which color were the lilies supposed to be? Red or orange? As much as he tried he could not remember, lacked concentration and behaved absently.

On the one hand, he was utterly occupied with preparations for the summer festival and on the other hand, Han Minkyu had made it his personal mission to follow him around and throw him off balance with ridiculous questions and even more ridiculous comments. He had to keep telling himself to remain diplomatic before he did something he would regret later.

And if he were aware of the eyes watching him, he may have taken more care to conceal his emotions.

 

Taeyong and Johnny were surprised by themselves. For the last three days they had been watching Donghyuck’s every movement with hawk’s eyes. And as it turned out - they had analyzed the situation successfully, it was clear as day.

Donghyuck was in love. Totally, completely in love.

He acted carefree, friendly and composed – as could be seen at this moment.

But the interesting thing was: he was all of that even _more_ as soon as his guard could be spotted.

Donghyuck was visibly very afraid that someone could take notice of his feelings for the commander. Especially, if that someone should be said honorable man himself.

Donghyuck’s eyes avoided him like something forbidden. And like something forbidden, the commander attracted his glances magnetically as soon as he felt unobserved.

The guard himself was a tougher nut to crack. He behaved as he always did. No matter how hard one tried to look past the facade, his expression betrayed nothing.  
  


“I don’t know, Taeyong.“, whispered Johnny. “Are you sure that he reciprocates his feelings?“

“Very. _Why_ are you whispering, love?“

“Because that’s how it’s done!“

“They’re out of hearing distance.“

“That’s still how it’s done! You don’t understand anything about secretiveness!“

“Of course not“, sighed the man that used to spend a great part of his childhood in disguise on the streets of his empire.

“He didn’t even react when that slimy duke flung himself at Donghyuck“, Johnny said frowning.

“First of all, dukes don’t fling themselves. At no one. Secondly, you just don’t know where to look. You have to watch his mouth closely - there’s this brief moment where it turns into an almost-snarl when he’s angry before returning to its usual cold polite smile.“

“He doesn’t seem in love to me, in any case.“

“You’re right. He doesn’t measure up to how _you_ were staring at me, obviously. You really set the bar high for admiring from afar. “

His Excellency received an elbow to his rips. But only very softly.

“So what do we do now?”

“First, we’ll have to clue Doyoung in. I don’t want a repeat of the engagement crisis,” Taeyong shook his head at the memory, “ _then,_ I’ll make someone investigate.”

“Make someone investigate? Who?“

“Well, who could it be? The best guard we have obviously.“

“But ...“

“Exactly.“

“Taeyong! This is the most devious thing I have ever heard“, Johnny whispered fascinated.

“I know right?”

 

 

_shortly afterward, in the emperor’s office_

 

“ _Excuse me?”_

Incredulous, Yukhei stared at the emperor. Well, almost. Anyone else would have stared in any case.

“Report to me. Very simple, really,” Taeyong repeated patiently.

“I’m sorry, Your Excellency. I’m supposed to keep the prince under surveillance?”

“Under surveillance sounds so negative,” Doyoung butted in, “you just have to keep an eye on him.”

 

“That’s what he always does, Doyoung.”

“Well then explain it in a way that’s understandable!”

“Alright, Commander, we have noticed signs that Prince Donghyuck is consumed by sorrow. And we don’t know why.”

“Actually.. we _do_ know. We think he’s unhappily in love with someone.”

“Johnny!”

“Oh no. Did I say the forbidden word? In love?”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Doyoung threw in.

“I do!” Taeyong exclaimed.

“Of course,” Doyoung huffed, rolling his eyes.

He turned towards the commander and noticed a frown on his forehead. The shadow seemed to have a serious problem. Maybe the just delivered information was the cause? Maybe Taeyong and Johnny _did_ have a point after all.

“You just have to keep a watchful eye on his behavior,” Taeyong continued, “Who he’s talking to, who he’s avoiding, how he’s composing himself, how often he sighs - that sort of thing.”

“With all due respect, Your Majesty. I don’t know if that would be appropriate,” replied Commander Wong flatly, though one could detect a slight hint of indignation in his voice. The frown on his forehead said more than any words could, however.

“Really,” murmured Taeyong, “how so?”

“I don’t feel good about spying on the prince.”

“Spying?” Taeyong clicked his tongue, “I think that’s a bit of an extreme way to put it.”

 

Yukhei let the words bounce off him and continued looking at his emperor. Doyoung sighed.

“You Wongs and your sense of honor. Can’t you separate yourself from it for once, Yukhei?”

“I’m afraid not, my lord.”

“Great. And If we asked you to give us – in the case you would happen to accidentally notice the direction of my brother’s inclination – a hint? Would that be acceptable for your.. delicacy?”

“If it would be of help to His Highness.”

“If?” Taeyong lifted his brow in mild surprise, “Do you think we could misuse the information?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Hm. I’m not sure if I want to know what you meant to say. If you know what I mean with that.”

“Yes.”

His Excellency involuntarily burst into laughter.

“You’re incredible, boy. You even manage to be loyal when you refuse to comply with a request. A bit too much of diplomacy being taught on that Imperial Academy, hm?”

“Your Imperial Majesty, please entrust somebody else with this task. I’m too obliged to Prince Donghyuck to act behind his back.”

“Yes. It seems that way.” Taeyong murmured in thought. “And I will kindly ignore the quiet accusation in your voice.”

The commander stubbornly kept looking straight ahead. But Taeyong was not put off by this lack of cooperation. The question had been posed and would now begin to burn on Wong Yukhei’s soul.

A subtle smile tugged on the emperor’s mouth as he released the guard with a “You’re dismissed”.

 

“Do you think it worked?”, Johnny asked as soon as they were alone.

“Absolutely.”

“But it didn’t look like the whole thing concerned him at all. You’re really sure he’s in love with him?”

“Yes, I should have noticed this a lot sooner. Do you remember when he started acting really weird during the months after Donghyuck’s 18th birthday?”

“Yes,” Doyoung agreed quietly, “as soon as one tried to talk to him he vanished. Duchess Wong even wrote to me because he didn’t answer any of her letters.”

Taeyong nodded. “And shortly after, he also started distancing himself from Donghyuck. I remember we thought they had some sort of argument one the day of our wedding because they went from inseparable to being unable to look each other in the eyes for quite a while afterward.”

“This has been going on for so long..”, whispered Doyoung. “We’re terrible parents!”

“ _Strictly speaking_ we’re not parents at all. More like terrible brother and brother figure,” murmured Taeyong.

“Nonsense, you’ve both done your best“ Johnny shook his head, “I can’t even imagine _thinking_ about Jisung’s future love troubles yet.”

“Still, almost two years of lovesickness.. I don’t even know who I feel sorrier for,” Taeyong sighed.

“Yeah...That’s even more than the year you put me through.”

“11 months and 8 days!” His Majesty corrected automatically, “And if you believe it or not, I suffered as well.”

 

 

 

 

At the same time, Commander Wong stalked through the stately corridors of the palace. His face was carefully blank as always but behind the sharp features, his thoughts were running in circles.

So, the prince was in love.

It didn’t make a difference. Wasn’t allowed to make a difference!

And yet… his heart didn’t give a damn what it was allowed to do and what not.

The prince was in love.

Unhappily in love. That meant his feelings were possibly directed towards a blind fool that didn’t reciprocate them.

The prince was in love.

Jealousy that he had absolutely no right to,  ate away at a heart that didn’t belong to him anymore.

 

Yukhei reminded himself to keep his composure.

All he was allowed to do was hope that the prince had chosen someone worthy of that indescribable blessing.

All he was allowed to do was hope for the prince’s happiness.

 

“Commander Wong?” A young soldier hurried along the corridor and interrupted Yukhei’s brooding. “I have a message for you.”

Yukhei frowned and regarded the man before him.

“From who?”

“Uhm…uh.. Duchess Wong. She’s asking for your presence in her chambers.”

“I’ll be right on the way. Thank you.”

“Yes, sir! Thank you, sir,” the man bowed profusely.

 

Sighing internally, Yukhei entered the guest chambers in the eastern wing reserved for the noble guests visiting. Decked in pompous lilac dresses Duchess Wong and Lady Wong were seated on a couch in the living room of their quarters.

“Mother?”

The older woman of the two dropped the book she was holding and her strong arms wound themselves around Yukhei in a haste.

The Duchess sighed as she held her son close. How often had she asked herself if that would be the last time? First her husband, now her son… How often until she would get used to it? At least the last question she could answer. Never. She would never get used to the separation, to the hoping for his safety.

She had no strength in herself to be upset about it. She had been bitter for enough years in her life. Now she just wanted to hold him close. Her son.

Her daughter, however...

“You’re gonna suffocate him, mother.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t miss me,” Yukhei huffed, gently freeing himself of his mother’s embrace to pull his sister closer.

“Me? Never. Everything at home is just so dreadfully boring I appreciate the change in scenery.”

“That sounded _very_ different in your letters though. Everything's boring? What about a certain Miss-”

Nervously laughing Yuqi clasped a hand on her brother's mouth.

“ _Misaligned_ chromosomes? Yes, a very interesting topic. I would like to talk to your friend about it.”

Yukhei blinked. “Since when are you interested in science?”

“Since a few weeks,” the duchess sighed, sitting back down, “it’s her latest obsession. She has a whole lab set up at home and keeps begging me to enroll her in medical school.”

“Which she _won’t,”_ Yuqi sulked, “why can Yukhei run off to risk his life but I can’t go away to learn to save lives? It’s not fair.”

“Someone has to prepare to take over our lands when I’m no longer able to care for our people,” Duchess Wong said softly, “what was I supposed to do about your brother? Male members of our family are notoriously stubborn and impossible to stop once they’ve decided on something. Your father was the same.”

“So what? I’m worse off because I’m a woman?”

“Oh no, not at all. We’re _worse_ than male Wongs, yes. Worse as in even more dangerous. We’re the ones that don’t run headfirst into danger, we’re what strikes when you least expect it. We’re resilient,” she took a sip of her cup of tea, “and I can’t imagine anyone more fitting for my position than you. You can study anything that interests you at home. And now that we’re here in the palace, I’m sure Doctor Dong would be delighted to show you the laboratories.”

“Really?” Yuqi excitedly turned to her brother.

“Yes, of course. He should be in the labs as we’re speaking. Just tell him I sent you,” he ruffled his sister's hair. Not needing any further prompting, the young lady hurried off with her lady-in-waiting in tow.

 

“Is she terribly upset?” Yukhei asked, not being able to shake off the guilt that had settle in his gut.

“Oh no, don’t worry too much. She wanted to be a professional dancer not even a month ago, you know how quickly she changes her mind. And she’s really doing a great job at home, she cares a lot about our people. 15 is just a difficult age.”

“So you’re saying I didn’t do a good job?”, Yukhei teased.

“No, you did. But you care _differently_ about the people you love, you want to protect them physically and not through governing. You’re very welcome to return home at any time though. Lord knows it would stop me from worrying when you take your sweet time replying to our letters again...”

 

 

 

 

_11 hours later_

 

 

Huang Renjun stood in the vast ballroom surrounded by the colorful crowd and didn’t even know where he was supposed to look. He had been working at the palace for several years, but the splendor and strict etiquette at court still managed to catch him off guard. The opening dances had been completed and easy, unimportant conversations had taken over - the newest gossip had to be exchanged after all.

At the moment, Renjun's eyes focused on the guards who stood at attention at the eight big doors. All of them were muscular. Well, one didn’t become a guard by sitting around after all.

It was absolutely natural that they managed to catch his attention.

“Well. Is that a weakness for uniforms I spot?”, teased Jeno, handing Renjun a glass.

“Uhm…actually no. At least not up to now.”

Jeno burst into laughter as Renjun’s ears turned red.

“Nothing wrong about admiring them from afar. I can’t stop myself from looking at Commander Wong sometimes either.”

“He certainly fills his uniform out nicely,” Renjun giggled, “though he’s a bit too stoic for me. And absolutely uninterested in any romantic advances made towards him, not that that stops any admirers from trying their luck. Though apparently his mindset has recently changed,” Renjun lowered his voice, “I just heard of some rumors involving him and a duchess.”

“You mean...he and her..?”

“Well, yes, apparently. A maid saw him coming from her chambers.” Suddenly Renjun gasped for air and fixed his posture. “Your Highness!”

 

That tone automatically inflicted a feeling of guilt in Jeno. As the two of them turned around, Prince Donghyuck stood directly before them.

Tall, elegant, beautiful as always. And decidedly a lot more pale than usual.

Jeno who had grown up with the prince, knew there was little the prince detested more than the type of sensationalistic gossip that had just been exchanged and tried to save the situation.

“Donghyuck, we were just...”

“Jeno, your father wants to talk to you,” said His Highness quietly.

“Then… I should probably go to him.”

“Yes. You should do that.”

Suddenly Renjun found himself alone with the prince.

“Uh. The festival is going along quite nicely, highness,” he desperately tried to change the conversation.

“Donghyuck,” mumbled the prince automatically, “I keep telling you, just Donghyuck is enough. I… if you would excuse me...”

Almost hastily he hurried away and left an unnerved Renjun standing in the middle of the ballroom.

 

Indeed, Donghyuck’s speed was anything but measured. He was almost running.

Just don’t get pulled into a conversation! Just don’t come to a stop!

He had to get away from here! Out!

He hurried towards one of the smaller doors. Behind it was a spacious library meant as a retreat for guests who wanted to escape the chaos in the big ballroom.

He thanked every known deity that the room was empty. Hastily he closed the door and breathing heavily he sunk onto the floor, leaning his back against the door.

He closed his eyes and let the stupid tears spill over.

Of course, his guard’s private life was none of his business! Of course, he didn’t live in celibacy! Of course, he should have known!

Knowing that he liked someone was one thing but now that there was a concrete suggestion… that there was possibly a face and a name to attach to someone.. jealousy overwhelmed him. Torturing, burning and inescapable. It constricted his chest, left no air for breathing.

Why could he not get rid of these inappropriate feelings? Why, after all these years, had he not learned to fight against it? Why? Why was his stupid heart so stubborn and incorrigible?

 

“Your Highness?”

Donghyuck clenched his fists, as the deep voice came muffled through the door. The voice of his constant, torturing shadow.

He didn’t want to answer.

“Your Highness?”

The knocking on the door became more insistent. More silence would result in the opening of the door.

“Yes?” Despite the fact that his tears had meanwhile left marks on his cheeks, his voice sounded calm.

“What happened?”

“I just felt a bit hot, Commander. That’s it.”

“Highness, I can’t guarantee your safety like this.”

His safety. It was the only thing of interest to this man.

“Just a moment.”

First, he had to get rid of the traitorous traces of his sorrow.

“As much as I regret it, I will have to insist that you open this door, Highness.”

Hurriedly Donghyuck wiped his tears away, forced a deep breath into his constrained chest, drew himself up and reached for the handle.

 

“Now, now, Commander. No reason to mobilize the troops. I just needed a bit of room to breathe,” he murmured mockingly and skillfully escaped his searching gaze by primping his sleeve.

He would save the crying for later.

“Do you want to go to the gardens?” asked his guard dutifully.

“No, I'm fine now.”

“As you wish, highness.”

Nothing was as he wished but that was no one’s business so he adapted a neutral expression and sauntered between the guests again, while the watchful eyes of his guards never left him.

 

 

Commander Wong refused to draw the obvious conclusions from what he just saw. That couldn’t be! Just yesterday he would have sworn on his life that what he just had observed was impossible.

The prince and that snob Han?

Normally, Prince Donghyuck was smart enough to see such shallow, conceited people for what they were. But suddenly there seemed only to be one explanation for his behavior. Han Minkyu.

Hadn’t he behaved strangely in the presence of the duke yesterday as well?

And today during the whole festival he had been bright and cheerful, until a few minutes ago when Minkyu had requested a dance of one lady-in-waiting for the third time. Beyond doubt in the belief that he could make Donghyuck jealous.

Incomprehensible was the fact that that tactic seemed to have actually worked.

The prince had been about to start a conversation with Lee Jeno, when suddenly he froze, hands holding his fan so tightly one could make out his knuckles.

Yukhei’s heart had stopped as he saw why.

It was the duke, who at that moment danced in the prince’s view, a giggling lady-in-waiting in his arms.

 

Not him! That was the only thing Yukhei had been able to think. Please, not him!

That coxcomb? So stupid, vain and arrogant. That guy wasn’t even worth breathing the same air as Donghyuck, not to mention being in the same room as him!

But the way the prince had fled into the library, the dampness on his eyelashes. A bystander would not have noticed the stiff head posture or the inappropriately hasty steps.

But Wong Yukhei was no bystander. Not since a very long time.

A new demon named jealousy made his home in Yukhei’s small, exquisite hell and drove its poisonous claws deeper into his soul.

 

 

Donghyuck had just managed to regain most of his composure and was about to search for Lee Mark, as Han Minkyu veered towards him. Donghyuck groaned. Did he really have to pay tribute to that man’s vanity? He wished fervently that the duke would focus his attention on one of his many admirers that were longing for it.

“Prince Donghyuck!”

Donghyuck forced a smile on his lips. “Your Grace.”

“Minkyu”, murmured the man and lead Donghyuck’s hand to his lips. “For you, just Minkyu.”

“Well, I don’t think that..”

“Please! I insist, Highness.”

Now one already insisted? Commander Wong clenched his teeth.

“We will see,” Donghyuck murmured noncommittally.

“Would you accompany me on a small stroll through the imperial gardens? They are said to be quiet magnificent. Especially...” Minkyu softened his voice”…. during moonlight.”

“They are,” His Highness agreed, “at every time of the day.”

“Oh,” Theatrically Minkyu gripped his heart. “Do you really want to deny me this modest request?”

Did he want to? Yes! But maybe the time had come to stop his enthusiasm before he became stuck on something. Donghyuck had made the experience that unwanted admirers were best to get rid of as soon as possible.

“Alright,” he conceded therefore, “A stroll.”

He took the offered arm, internally already preparing a polite brush-off. Then something quite unexpected happened.

 

“Your Highness?”

Immediately Donghyuck turned around. When the commander began to speak without being prompted he must have a good reason.

“Yes?”

“Your handkerchief?”

Donghyuck starred at the silk piece of fabric in the commander’s leather-clad hand. Unbelieving, his eyes slid higher and as always the direct eye-contact felt like a shock pulsing through his body.

Why did he do that? Why now?

Because his guard would never dare to criticize Donghyuck in public, they had agreed on this sign a long time ago. If Donghyuck was about to do something that his guard considered risky or even dangerous, he would offer the prince his “lost” handkerchief. Until now Commander Wong had never made use of that hidden pointer.

As a sign of his agreement, Donghyuck would just have to accept the handkerchief. But his stubbornness made him pause. What right did he have to reprimand him? He was not a child!

“That isn’t mine,” he said quietly.

His guard’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.

“Then I ... beg your forgiveness.” The commander’s voice was as distant as his expression.

Before Minkyu offered his arm again, he gave the watchdog a warning glance. He would really have to teach him manners after the wedding.

 

The duke’s meaningless words washed over Donghyuck. All he registered were the familiar steps behind him. With painful clarity.

He could almost feel his guard’s disapproval.

How _dare_ he imply that he had a lapse of judgment or lacked decency? He had everything under perfect control. In any case, it wasn’t _Donghyuck’s_ behavior that left much to be desired!

He just wanted to run away. Inevitably he quickened his pace.

Minkyu could barely hide his satisfied smirk. Well, well, well.

Someone was eager to be alone together. His price was heading towards a lake with a pavilion. Yes, today everything had worked out perfectly!

 

The walls of the elegant pavilion were mostly made of glass but surrounded by the dark night sky it provided some shelter to talk confidentially.

Without hesitation, Donghyuck climbed up the few steps and sat down on a small bench. His companion followed him. The commander took his position with his back to them on the lowest step.

“What a charming place!” exclaimed Minkyu and reached for Donghyuck’s hands.

“Yes. Your Grace, I...”

“Minkyu!”

“I wanted to talk to you. I’ve got the impression that you hope for..”

“Talking? I think by now it’s time for another type of conversation between us.”

In disbelief, Donghyuck registered the presence of a possessive arm slung over him.

“I do _not_ think so!” he spewed out.

“Good. Thinking isn’t on my mind at the moment.”

“Stop.” Donghyuck’s whispering was almost indiscernible at this point, seeing as he didn’t want to set off his guard unless it was absolutely necessary.

The duke obviously wouldn’t dare...

“Donghyuck,” the intimate whisper was suddenly so close he could smell the duke’s perfumed breath.

“Let go of me!”, he demanded as calmly as he could.

“You like playing hard to get, huh?”

“Duke Han!”

“You won’t be so demure in a second.”

He came even closer. So close that Donghyuck had to lean his head back at a painful angle to avoid him.

“Let me go right this second!” he whispered angrily.

“Come here, you..”

His lips were only centimeters apart from Donghyuck’s.

Donghyuck decided to forget every bit of diplomacy ingrained into him.

He braced himself against the duke’s shoulder. He had to stop him without causing a commotion. The Hans were a powerful family and their support was important for his brother. An old family. A venerable family.

The Hans were... apparently a bunch of conceited blockheads!

Donghyuck was just about to deliver a mean kick as he suddenly felt a jolt and found himself free again.

 

About half a meter away from Donghyuck the duke was thrown so hard against the wall that the glass creaked alarmingly.

“ _What?”_

“You _dare_ to?” it seethed into Minkyu’s ear.

Minkyu was about to get up as a single hand grabbed his throat and lifted him a few centimeters of the ground. With panic-filled eyes he looked up into a roaring, deadly gaze. For the first time in his earthly, narcissistic existence the young duke felt the most fundamental of all fears. Fear for his life.

“Commander!” the two men only heard the prince’s voice dimly.

Minkyu clung to the merciless fingers in a desperate attempt of freeing himself. The grip became even stronger. The commander clenched his teeth and from his throat sounded deep baneful rumbling. There were few people who had heard these sounds and survived. Minkyu saw black spots.

“Commander Wong!”

Only after soft fingers wound themselves around Yukhei’s wrist did the fog before his eyes clear. The world came back into focus. Partly. The beast inside him was still raging.

As if under hypnosis Donghyuck stared at him. He had never seen that kind of fury before. It was like looking death into the eyes. And may all the gods forgive him but he thought he was… mesmerizing.

“Yukhei..”, he whispered.

 

Slowly the grip on Minkyu’s throat softened. Coughing and wheezing he leaned against the wand.

“How... dare..you?” he croaked while struggling on his feet.

“Have you… forgotten your position … you dirty..”

“Duke Han!”

Minkyu ignored Donghyuck’s objection and continued staring into the dog’s eyes.

“If you weren’t… an insignificant piece of dirt beneath my shoe .. I would..”

Donghyuck straightened up. “You would do better to not insult my guard any further. He was merely fulfilling his duty,” he said harshly.

“Duty? That impertinent dog almost killed me! Wait until your brother hears of this!”

“I don’t think you should look forward to that because he will undoubtedly want to know what led to this incident.”

“Incident? You were playing hard to get that’s all!”

“You’re dismissed!,” Donghyuck ordered coldly.

Snorting with rage, the duke looked at him. But his rage was of no importance to Donghyuck. It was the rage in another person’s gaze…

Without sparing another word the duke stalked out of the pavilion. Alright! If he didn’t want to! There were enough other nobles with pretty faces! They would appreciate the attention of a Han, unlike this spoiled brat.

 

“Is everything alright, Your Highness?” the commander’s voice broke the silence.

“Yes.”

The guard nodded curtly and was about to return to his position on the steps.

“Commander..”

“Yes?”

“You… Thank you.”

“Thank you?”, he asked without turning around. “Maybe my interference was unwanted.”

“Unwanted?”, taken aback, Donghyuck studied him. Then he understood and drew himself up to his full height. “I ignored your warning. That was a mistake. But now you’re going too far!”, he whispered.

“Forgive me, highness.” For a moment his gleaming eyes found Donghyuck’s own gaze. “As it seems I really forgot my position,” he said and bowed deeply.

“I.. didn’t mean…”

“If you would excuse me, I should return to my post,” he turned around and left the pavilion.

Donghyuck clenched his fists and struggled to retain his composure. His gaze. Never before had the commander been that angry. Disparaging. Almost disdainful.

 

The prince was right with his interpretation of the commander’s gaze. But the anger and disdain were not directed towards him.

Yes, Yukhei was furious. Furious at the rage inside his soul. Furious at himself for not being able to eradicate it. Furious because his confrontation with that creep had very little to do with his duties.

Instead of calmly putting the duke in his place he had charged at him like a maniac. All the years of discipline down the drain. Yes, he was furious. So furious he wanted to punch a wall.

Idiot! Damned, sentimental idiot! He had let himself be led by his emotions. By raging jealousy. After seeing how that pretentious swine treated the prince he blew a fuse. Literally.

Yukhei clenched his fists until the leather of his gloves protested.

At that moment Donghyuck stepped out of the pavilion. He passed Yukhei with averted head. Another thing that increased Yukhei’s fury. He had insulted the prince. That was unforgivable!

“Your Highness...”

“It has gotten cold,” he said flatly, “it would be best to return inside.”

 

Somehow Donghyuck managed to keep the facade in place. He talked to guests, laughed at the anecdotes of an old minister.

Deep inside he was hurting from all the uncried tears.

Despite the fact that his feelings had never been returned, at least until now he had been sure of the commander’s respect and estimation for him. Today he seemed to have squandered that as well.

Through his stubbornness? By acting like a child once again? Or had he maybe tried to get some sort of reaction out of the commander? Well _that_ he had certainly managed.

He would not forget that look of disdain any time soon.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... many.. misunderstandings..  
> i feel like i forgot a scene but ive been thinking for days and well. i'll just have to edit this chapter if i ever remember jdfdjhd  
> i'm not sure i'll be able to wrap everything up next chapter but we'll see..!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jazz hands* anyone remember this

_The next morning_

 

Someone knocked uncharacteristically early at the door to Donghyuck’s chambers. Jaemin paused.

“At this hour?”, he murmured, “Who could that be?”

He met the prince’s gaze in the mirror, who shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not expecting visitors,” murmured Donghyuck with an uneasy feeling.

Surely by now, his brother would have heard of yesterday’s events. And surely the knocking was related to that.

“I will have a look.” With these words, Jaemin put down the comb and brush and went on his way. From the foyer, he could hear whispers and giggles. Giggles? His brother did not make maids giggle! Johnny maybe?

Jaemin reappeared.

“It’s Lord Moon, Your Highness. He’s asking if you can spare some time for him.”

“Of course,” answered Donghyuck.

“Then I will bring some tea.”

“Thank you, Jaemin.”

The servant went to the door, let Lord Moon step into the room and went in the direction of the kitchens.

 

“Taeil!”

“Ah, good morning, sunshine,” Taeil smiled and returned the embrace of his cousin. “Did you sleep well?”

“Somewhat.” Donghyuck didn’t even try to pretend that he didn’t know what the question was aiming at.

“Mhm,” hummed Taeil, “That’s what I thought. Apparently you had a chat-talk with our dear duke yesterday?”

“Something like that,” Donghyuck admitted, looking at his hands. “Please take a seat.”

“Thank you,” Taeil sat down on the small couch, “Your brother has already gained a broad overview of the situation and is contemplating his reaction. You know him. Wants to know everything about everyone, that man. Really unbelievable. In any case, he is still debating between upright indignation and incandescent fury.”

“Oh,” sighed Donghyuck and sat down as well. “If I had known... I didn’t want to affront the duke.”

“Hyuck… that man’s ego is so immense someone _had_ to affront him sooner or later.”

“But Taeyong’s got a right to be angry. An alliance with the Hans would have been very important for him.”

“Angry? But never with you! He’s angry at that cockscomb. Your brother may have become more diplomatic but that by far doesn’t mean he has to tolerate disrespect. And neither do you. But before our dear hothead tears the palace apart, I thought it appropriate to ask after the actual incident.”

“I… there’s not a lot to tell.”

“I also listen to short stories,” Taeil said softly.

“The duke apparently got his hopes up which I… couldn’t fulfill.”

“Or wanted to.”

“Yes.”

“Well. Let’s get straight to the point instead of beating around the bush. You were taking a stroll. In the dark.”

“Yes.”

“Alone.”

“Yes,” Donghyuck admitted quietly, “All of it was my mistake!”

“Stop, stop. _No._ A stroll is not a mistake by a long shot.”

“But that one was.”

“Ah? Then tell your dear cousin what happened. And don’t say “nothing”, that cockscomb looked far too ruffled for that.”

“I think he wanted to propose to me.”

“A proposal? Then the poor boy is seriously suffering from spectacular conceitedness.”

“Taeil...”

“Alright,” Taeil took Donghyuck’s hand, “Continue. Why do you only think he wanted to propose? Did he not go through with it?”

“He.. he didn’t really get to that part.”

“Aha. Intervened whatever-left-him-battered before that?”

“Yes.”

“And did whatever-left-him-battered have a reason?”

“Yes.”

“So he made advances.”

“Well, he thought I would reciprocate his feelings.”

“Did you say that?”

“No?”

“But?”

“I.. as he tried to kiss me, I asked him not to.”

“There we have it!”

“He thought I was just being coy.”

“He thought, he thought! Obviously he thought a little too much! Or too little. I hope whatever-left-him-battered dealt out an adequate lesson.”

Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know if Han Minkyu can be taught a lesson at all.”

“Probably not,” Taeil sighed, “The important thing is that none of it is your fault. He kissed you without your consent and whatever-left-him-battered …uh, left him battered because of his own actions.”

“He didn’t kiss me. He didn’t get to.”

“Oh?”, surprised, Taeil lifted an eyebrow.

Did someone overreact slightly? Someone, who was not particularly known to overreact? Someone who normally only had to look wrong at boys like Minkyu to make them take their heels?

On top of that, Taeyong and Johnny suspiciously often started whispering when Donghyuck entered the room.

Lord Moon combined his life experience with his powers of deduction and looked at the result. By the… now he was even left out of the loop for things as important as the first big love? He really would have to stay at the palace more often if so much was kept from him.

“And… there’s something else.” he heard Donghyuck quietly say.

“Yes?”

“The commander… he indicated to me that he would not approve of the stroll.”

“He did?”, murmured Taeil. If he added one and one correctly, that fit just as perfectly into the mold as the rest.

“Yes. I received a warning but decided to ignore it,” he admitted sorrily. “Now you see that a big part of the fault _is_ with me after all.”

“No, not at all!”, Soothing, he pulled his cousin in a hug. “You need to stop trying to assume the blame for the duke’s impertinence. The only one at fault for _anything_ is he.”

“But… the commander..”

“Is just about the wariest man I know. Of course, he tried to stop you. He does the same if you just want to cross the courtyard to sit by the lake.”

“He was so angry,” Donghyuck whispered.

“Wong?”

He nodded hesitantly.

“Well, that’s what I would hope, with how that cockscomb was imposing himself on you.”

“He was angry with me.”

“With you? Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe he was at the very first moment. But he knows just as well as I do that you’re not at fault for anything.”

“Well,” Donghyuck forced himself to say, “It’s not that important anyway.”

Aha. Not so important now. Then grass had always been blue now too?

“If you say so,” Taeil agreed anyways. “Try to worry not too much, hyuckie. Your brother will take care of everything.”

He softly patted Donghyuck’s head.

“I’ll try. Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you even listening to me?” Commander Wong’s voice was exhibiting cold politeness. That usually meant nothing good.

“Yes, _sir!”_

“Then why are you not wearing protective clothing?”

“B-because I thought I would be more agile without it… _sir_!”

“You _thought?_ Spectacular. You will wear these leather protectors until _I_ tell you differently. Understood?”

“Understood!”

“Back into formation!”

The young recruit gulped and went back into the row.

“Great. Everyone except Lieutenant Jung - who preferred to think – take a quarterstaff. Teams of three.”

Teams of three. The soldiers groaned. Teams of three meant double the amount of bruises. An hour later they were sweating and frustrating. Who would have thought (well… in so far one still dared to do that thinking thing) that the usually well-composed watchdog could have _that_ bad a temper?

“ _Enough!_ If I wanted to oversee a bunch of children I would be working in a nursery! Take your clothes and get out of my view!”

The recruits hastily made their way out of the room.

 

“Wow, and whatever ruined your mood?”

“Ten. What is it?” Yukhei asked without turning around.

The other commander shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, nothing. I’ve just been selected as the designated errand boy again. Questionable what all these years of hard work were good for. I’m here to tell you that your services are needed an hour later today. Lord Moon is currently with the prince and he had the amazing idea that we could give the recruits a demonstration of our abilities. But I think he actually meant _your_ abilities.”

“They already left.”

“That I can see. Weren’t nice, huh, the younglings?”

“Nice?”

“You know. Naughty. No presents for their birthdays, et cetera.”

“Hilarious, Ten.”

“Yes. That’s me. But how about it, you still wanna beat me up a little? To release some frustration?”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I think your recruits would disagree.”

“They say what I tell them to.”

“Uh… of course. What a world would we live in if everyone used their own voice?”

“Ten...”

“Alright! No need to growl at me. Me friend. Remember?”

“Barely.”

“Before your amnesia gets even worse: Adjutant General Lee wanted to talk to you as well.”

“Mark?”

“Yes, he visited His Highness as well. Very popular today, the prince. In any case, he’s asking if you will spare five minutes for him. It’s probably about your behavior yesterday.”

“What behavior?”Yukhei asked in a voice that implied to think carefully before answering.

Ten did not think carefully.

“Well, the funny part is, _nobody_ knows exactly! Certain is only that the prince left the ballroom with you and Duke Han. And as the duke reappeared alone, he didn’t look very well-put-together or happy. Your.. uh, behavior must have happened between that accordingly. All of it speculation, of course.”

“Then _don’t_ do it!”

“Speculating or better yet breathing all together?”

“Both of it preferably,” Yukhei growled.

“Wonderful. I assume that means no friendly hand-holding today?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Don’t you have anything to do?”

“ _That_ tone of voice just made me remember a thousand and one things I have to do. But maybe you should look up the definition of ‘friend’ in a dictionary. These are the people you can talk to. Oops, another foreign word. Sorry!”

Ten shortly patted Yukhei’s arm and then strategically took his leave. With that, Commander Leechaiyapornkul, personal guard of His Imperial Majesty Consort Johnny, had once again proven that he did not fear death. His badges weren’t only for decoration after all.

 

A man with a few more badges on his uniform sighed. Ten was right, after all. He was in a bad mood and the recruits had had to endure it. Usually, he tried to prevent something like that. Usually, he _didn’t was_ in a mood. Usually, he also hadn’t insulted the prince the evening prior.

His only consolation was the realization that Donghyuck cared very little about the duke. But who else was it then? Who was the person his heart belonged to?

Or were the emperor and imperial consort mistaken after all?

In any case, he had a lot to make up for.

Hopefully, Donghyuck would listen to his apology today.

 

 

In front of Donghyuck’s chambers had the property-developers placed an anteroom. In said anteroom stood the honorable Lee Mark, chief person responsible for the administrative work concerning His Majesty’s army.

Once he spotted his victim he didn’t waste any time.

“Ah, Yukhei, there you are.”

“Mark. I’m glad to see you.”

“Hm,” Mark murmured, eyes twinkling, “Let’s see how long that will last. I thought I should check if everything is in order. I heard a few things that I couldn’t quite believe.”

“Aha? And since when do you pay attention to gossip?”, Yukhei asked, frowning.

“Since it concerns Donghyuck. As I’ve heard the duke did not look particular posh after your… stroll yesterday.”

“I don’t care about fashion.”

“Oh. Deciding to choose the stubborn route, huh? I also heard he seemed quite indignant after his return. Some even claim that he was fuming.”

Commander Wong’s jaw hardened, but Mark could continue without its assistance.

“Well, I see it this way: Our overenthusiastic duke came onto our prince. He didn’t reciprocate. Obviously! That would require another kind of man!”

“Mark, I don’t see any reason...”

“Wait, wait, listen to me. I assume, he kissed Donghyuck.”

The frozen expression on the other’s face assured Mark that he had made the right guess again.

“I understand”, he said quietly, eyes flickering knowingly. “Are you going to lose control every time someone kisses Donghyuck? If you keep going like this you will lose control of the situation.”

“He didn’t… he tried against the prince’s wishes.”

Mark’s expression darkened, “I see.”

“I’m not a fool, Mark.”

“Really? Then why are you blindly continuing on the road to ruin? You _are_ a fool and you know it. Maybe… you should leave.” he added silently.

 

There they were. The words that had been going through Yukhei’s mind since the last evening. ‘Maybe you should leave!’ Yukhei briefly closed his eyes.

“I can’t.”

It was the same answer as well. The answer he would always give.

“You can’t? But you’ll only hurt yourself more if you stay.”

“So what?” Yukhei demanded, “Why should I care about that? I swore an oath. To protect him to the best of my abilities. Until my last breath.”

“But...”

“Bring me someone who can protect him just as well as I can and I will leave!” Challenging, he stared his friend in the eyes.

“Impossible,” admitted Mark defeated.

“I know you’re just trying to look out for both of us but leaving is not an option. And now I have to report for duty. Our conversation is over!”

With that, Yukhei took place next to the large double door.

“Sure,” Mark lied.

 

A few minutes later the doors opened and Moon Taeil entered the anteroom. As he spotted Mark, a smile formed on his face.

“Mark, it’s good to see you! How is your father?”

“Very well, thank you.” He smiled back.

“That’s good to hear! Donghyuck will be glad to see you.”

“I can only hope so. I didn’t announce myself.”

“Friends don’t have to announce themselves.”

“Even the ones that have been rather negligent in their correspondences lately?”

“ _Especially_ those,” Taeil smiled, glancing shortly at Commander Wong. “Send your father my compliments, will you? It was good to run into you here.”

“Of course, it’s my pleasure.”

 

Shortly after the lord left the antechamber, the double doors swung open again. This time, to let the crown prince through.

“Good mor... Mark!”

“Donghyuck!”, laughing, Mark opened his arms. Without hesitation, Donghyuck went to embrace him.

“It’s great to see you.”

“Me? Really? Even though I didn’t have a lot of time for you lately?”

“Yes, of course. I’m always glad to see you.” Donghyuck replied truthfully.

How good it was to see Mark, a fresh breeze from all the curious, speculative glances he had received since yesterday.

“I thought I would come to check in on you. If I’m untimely...”

“Nonsense! Renjun, will you please tell Doyoung that I’ll come to see him later?”

“Of course, highness.”

“Let’s go outside, Mark. I think a bit of fresh air will be good for me.”

 

Commander Wong trailed behind the small group at an appropriate distance. How carefree he was with Mark. It astounded him every time.

It hurt him every time.

In the presence of his friends, he was so much more relaxed than with Yukhei alone.

Weren’t they friends once too?

Yes, at first, Donghyuck had been like this with him too. Maybe a little shyer but that was to be expected. He had wanted to know what kind of music he liked best, which dishes…

Would it still be like this if they hadn’t danced together at the wedding celebration?

Yukhei was well-aware that something after that day had changed in the prince’s countenance and he was also well-aware of the whispers around them and ‘how lovely they had looked together’. The only logical conclusion was that Donghyuck had heard them too. And didn’t want to give anyone that idea again, naturally.

 

 

Finally, after quite some time, Mark bid his goodbye and Yukhei took a deep breath. Time for his apology, at last.

“Your Highness?”

Donghyuck stiffened. Why? Why did he have that effect on him?

“Yes?”, he asked without looking at Yukhei.

“I have to apologize for yesterday.”

“For what? For being right?”  
“For my behavior. My words. They were thoughtless. They left the impression that I blamed you for what happened. That is not the case.”

“No?”, Donghyuck asked quietly. “But you did warn me. And I was too stubborn...”

“No, highness. You felt safe. And that’s good. Otherwise, I would not be doing my job properly. It’s _my_ duty to be wary, not yours,“ he looked urgently at the prince, “What happened was the duke’s fault, no one else is to blame. I’m very sorry if I gave you any other impression. There’s no excuse for that. My anger was solely focused on the duke. Never you.”

Donghyuck looked down at his hands. A few hours ago his cousin had said the exact same thing, but to hear it from _him_ was unexpected and painful. Painful because he couldn’t allow himself to love him any more than he already did!

For a short second, he allowed himself to look into his eyes. There, he found what he always did – respect, admiration and something else. A soft gleam of what could be a question of forgiveness. Something in him snapped.

“Another thing!”

“Yes, Your Highness?”, Yukhei replied confused.

“I would appreciate if you could keep your… private affairs to yourself. I do not enjoy to hear people gossiping.”

 

As soon as the words left Donghyuck’s mouth, he felt his face go numb from embarrassment. What had he been thinking? He did not have any right to talk about the commander’s private life.

He knew it.

The commander knew it.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dread paralyzed Yukhei’s whole body. The prince couldn’t possibly be implying what he thought he did, could he? But it couldn’t be, could it? The only person who knew of his feelings was Mark and he would never gossip so how…

“Do you really want me to repeat it?”, Donghyuck hissed.

He was only met with wide-eyed silence.

“I really do not mean to pry into your relationships,” he continued stiffly, “but if you want to keep entertaining your relations with a certain duchess, please do so without alerting half the palace.”

Now, Yukhei had to admit that he was lost. He could not figure out what the prince was talking about. Yes, he did not like to mention that he was a noble by birth, preferring to empathize he had earned his position on his own merit. But it was not like it was a _secret._

“Are you… talking about my mother?”, he furrowed his brows, “I assure you that everyone who needs to be aware of it, _is_ aware that I’m Duchess Wong’s son. I don’t know why people would be gossiping about that, but I will be sure to put an end to that. After all, I know how much you despise that kind of talk,” he added quietly.

 

It was at the moment that Donghyuck should have apologized, but he was far too mortified to find any words. Not only did he seriously overstep, but he also managed to do _exactly_ what he detested so much: spread sensationalist gossip that had no basis in reality.

And on top of that, his _mother._ Donghyuck felt as if he was going to be sick. How could he possibly take back what he had said?

 

“I will set any rumors straight,” Yukhei continued somberly, “and please forgive me for my words yesterday.”

He nodded quickly, “Thank you, Commander.”

Too mortified to face him a second longer, he hastily retreated back in the direction of his chambers.

 

 

In the small room next to the prince’s chambers, Commander Wong put his weapons down. His last doubts had vanished.

‘It’s true after all’ he thought, ‘He’s in love. And he’s unhappy’

There was no other possibility to explain his strange behavior. Normally the prince would rather bite off his tongue than react pertly. This erratic and distrustful behavior was hardly reconcilable with the Donghyuck he knew.

But...who?

Who, everything be damned, had earned his heart? And who could refrain from such happiness? Who could be blind enough not to reciprocate his love?

Except if…. But it was impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_At the same time, in another part of the palace_

 

The air that Han Minkyu was breathing was very thin. Unfortunately, he was not aware of that yet. Ignorance is a kind veil as long as no one tries to lift it. In the Han family, it was traditionally more of a wall than a veil.

At the moment, the duke stalked up and down in the emperor’s office and waited. He couldn’t wait to hear how the emperor would proceed with that impertinent watchdog of a guard.

He, for one, would advise him to make an example of him.

The door opened forcefully and closed the same way.

“Your Imperial Majesty!”

“Duke Han.”

“You wanted to talk to me, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. Before you leave, I wanted to take the opportunity to send you off.”

“Before I… leave?”

“A further delay is not wished for.”

“Did someone send for me?”, Minkyu asked confused. “My mother maybe?”

“Not that I’m aware of. It’s just that you’re in better hands outside of the palace.”

“I don’t understand...”

“You,” Taeyong articulated all too clearly, “will leave us. Tomorrow, first thing in the morning. You may pack all your things.”

“Your Excellency, I’m starting to think that you may have the wrong impression of what happened yesterday.”

“I thought it was rather clear.”

“Is that so? Well, then I can imagine what that watchdog told you...”

“Really? The commander is rarely very talkative with me. But I can add one and one. And the result,” hissed Taeyong, “I did not like at all. You will keep your distance from my brother. As well as from the rest of my family and the palace. You will be allowed to stay confined to your estate, but from this moment on I will strip you effectively of all titles and privileges you once had.”

“But this watchdog..”

“Has my full trust! If Commander Wong thought it was necessary to intervene, then it _was_ necessary.”

“You will trust his word over mine?” Stiff as a board and pale, Minkyu stood in the room.

“Absolutely.”

“Then there’s nothing else to say, Your Majesty.”

“How true.”

And with that ended a series of more or less successful conversations.

 

 

 

 

 

_The next day_

 

 

Just quickly fixing the hairpins. Quickly patting down his robes. A last, observing glance in the mirror.

Everything was as it was meant to be. Great.

Crown Prince Donghyuck took his handkerchief, straightened himself and went to to the door.

“Good M..”

The words died on his lips, the embarrassment still clinging to his entire body. Donghyuck took a deep breath.

“Commander Wong… it’s good to see you.”

“Your Highness,” he bowed his head.

“I’m... very sorry for what I said yesterday. It was completely out of line.”

“It’s fine. In fact, I think it was a good decision to make me aware that there were rumors. It seems like there has been a... misunderstanding among some people.”

“Yes, some people.” Donghyuck colored and cleared his throat. “But I didn’t have any right to intervene in your personal affairs and I’m sorry for what I said.”

“You’re forgiven, highness” Yukhei smiled softly. “And I appreciate your opinion at all times, no matter what it is pertaining to.”

“Thank you,” Donghyuck replied. And if his cheeks were slightly redder than usual, no one would comment on it.

 

Things went their normal way again. Unfortunately.

It’s difficult to get rid of old habits after all. In this case, the consequences were that topics that should have been talked about got buried instead.

After about a week, Taeyong had had enough and he ordered his brother’s personal guard to his office. His husband had the honor of being present for the event.

“Commander Wong?”

“Your Excellency?”

“Did I ever even thank you?”

“Thank me, Your Majesty?”

“Yes, commander, gratefulness. It’s a feeling I, for example, feel when someone keeps my brother safe.”

“You know that I just fulfilled my duty...”

“Doesn’t he repeat this nonsense every time?” asked Johnny thoughtful.

“Yes. Very tiring.”

“I’m almost starting to think we could’ve refrained from the thanking thing.”

“You’re right. Let’s get straight to the point. Commander, because of the recent events, we’re even more worried about Donghyuck than before. If we could just insure his happiness...”

“We think that maybe ending his lovesickness at least would be a good step,” Johnny added.

Yukhei clenched his teeth. This conclusion was the exact opposite of what he had hoped to hear. Because he did not want to entertain the possibility that had slowly but surely wormed its way into his brain. He could not afford to hope… not when his hope was as fragile as it was.

 

“Well, to be honest, we were hoping that maybe you could tell us a bit more this time. Do you have a hunch as to who it is that Donghyuck has given his heart?”

“No.”

“No? Just no?” Taeyong narrowed his eyes. “No ‘I’m not really sure’?”

“No.”

“Uhu.” His Majesty’s gaze was strange so it was avoided.

“You really have not the smallest idea?”, Taeyong asked again.

“No, Your Majesty.”

“Alright. You’re dismissed.”

 

After the commander left the room, Taeyong turned around.

“Can you believe this?” he said through his teeth. “Lying straight to my face.”

“How do you know that?”, asked Johnny.

“Because I know him. It may have never happened before but I can still tell when he’s lying to me. His blank face will not protect him from that.”

“I also think the boy was lying.”

“Doyoung?”

 

Baffled, the ruling couple looked at a small door. It was made of the same red, with ornaments embroidered, silk as the walls of the office. In the door stood Kim Doyoung, a cheeky grin on his lips.

“Yes. By the way, I think it would be a great idea to start heating the secret passages.”

“If you had announced your presence...”

“It would have been less fun.”

“Both of you really think Yukhei knows the truth now?”, Johnny asked.

“The boy knows exactly what Donghyuck’s feelings are if you ask me. Only he will do nothing about me. And I honestly don’t want to wait another two years before anything happens.”

“So what do you want to do?” asked his husband.

“The obvious. If there’s one thing our dear commander can do it’s following orders.”

“What… you want to order him to marry Donghyuck?” Doyoung asked frowning.

“I will simply announce an engagement. I heard it’s a common practice.”

“I remember. But first us, now Donghyuck … I wasn’t aware that you wanted to go down in history as Taeyong The Matchmaker.”

“Not exactly a title I’m very keen on. But on their own, the two of them obviously will get nowhere.”

“Oh, well. Maybe we do have to help a little,” Doyoung agreed. “At least this time I’m in the known.”

Instead of arguing about _that_ sequence of events again Taeyong quietly counted to 10. “Fine! If you have a better idea I’m all ears.”

“Not yet. But I’m working on it.” Doyoung replied.

“Good. It would be great if you could be done rather soon than later.”

“Seriously, never any trust in me...”

And so it happened that, accompanied by a nice cup of tea, Commander Leechaiyapornkul was asked to sit down and spill all of his closest friend’s secrets.

Ten’s bad conscience was basically nonexistent.

What didn’t one do for a higher goal?

The plan that was hatched was based on the predictability of human weakness. That, and an old drawing.

 

 

Roughly, Doyoung’s plan consisted of confronting the two turtledoves with the other’s feelings. Since he didn’t expect any grand love confessions from either of them, he had to proceed more subtle. It had to be shown to them. Basically.

The only thing to be shown was, quite literally, an old watercolor self-portrait which Donghyuck had drawn ages ago. Except that this particular picture had been left behind in the atelier and then suddenly vanished one day.

As Ten had confirmed that Yukhei counted that particular drawing as one of his most prized possessions, the plan had become crystal clear. After showing it to the prince it was to hope… well, that he would realize some things.

Wong seemed to already be aware of the prince’s inclination, so it would hopefully be enough to just open Donghyuck’s eyes as well. After all, the boy had a line of ancestors that – despite a few bad exceptions – had all been remarkably brave.

Doyoung assumed that if Donghyuck was aware of his guard’s feelings, he would be able to handle it from there.

Now everything only had to be placed according to the plan. Since some of his extras were books, the library was the best possible place. The library next to Donghyuck’s chambers at that. After all it _could_ be possible that they would need some time alone.

After everything was arranged to his satisfaction, he asked for Donghyuck to be sent to him.

 

“You wanted to talk to me, Doyoung?”

“Ah, there you are, Hyuck. It seems like some servants have recently disarranged some of the books. Everyone taking books outside, your brother on another I-know-it-is-here-Doyoung-give-me-another-hour scavenger hunt… piles of books have appeared everywhere. I have all of them with me, so we can start to sort out yours.” He gestured to the pile of books next to him. “You just have to tell me which of those are yours.”

“Let’s see. This one,” Donghyuck put a history book to the side, “This. Oh and here is the sheet music collection you got me last year. I’ve been looking for it everywhere.”

“Ah, you did like them a lot.”

“I still like them!”, Donghyuck corrected and carefully put it down next to him.

 

Seemingly in passing, Doyoung picked up a thicker book.

Now the timing was of importance. He opened the pages and let a folded sheet of paper fall to the ground.

“Huh,” he murmured, “Who does this belong to?”  
He waited until Donghyuck reached for the paper. At the moment he held it in his hands, Doyoung read the name of the book’s owner. Loud, of course. Otherwise, it would have been pointless.

“Y.Wong. Commander, this seems to be yours.”

“Really?”, asked the guard from the door, “I did not leave any books laying around as far as I’m aware.”

Doyoung shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Donghyuck. He was inspecting the picture and seemed… to put it mildly, surprised.

 _Good_! Now the coughing fit.

Hearing the sign, Ten knocked shortly on the door and then stepped through it.

“Forgive me, Lord Kim. Adjutant General Lee is asking if you can spare a few minutes. It’s.. an urgent matter.”

“Of course!”, gallant and inconspicuously, Doyoung sauntered out of the room.

 

Donghyuck looked at the creased paper with yellow edges in front of him.

The Donghyuck on the paper was looking in the distance and clutching a book to his chest, background colors clumsily complementing the sketch.

The picture was shaking in his hands.

“Does this...”, he gulped, “does this belong to you?”

The commander got closer. Only after 2 steps did he recognize the impending disaster.

This could not happen! Where did the picture come from? How was he meant to explain this? How…

“That’s what I thought,” Donghyuck whispered.

“Really?”, his voice sounded choked even to his own ears, “I can’t remember.”

Donghyuck’s eyes were still taking in the picture. This damned sheet of paper, which had exposed his heart from one second to the other.

“But… my name is written here. This picture... I drew it. It’s _me._ Why… why do you have it?”

Yukhei cursed himself.

Idiot! Damned, hopeless fool that he was. Why did he ever take this drawing with him? What did he think he was doing?

Donghyuck raised his gaze. Not now, of all times. Not now, when all his defenses had crumbled. He could not know…

“You… love me,” breathed Donghyuck.

Wide-eyed he was staring at him.

“No!”

Compared to this lie every other lie he ever told seemed meaningless. He could not escape from his hell. Not anymore.

“Yes, you do! How angry you were with the duke when he didn’t even...” Donghyuck’s eyes were pleading for the truth.

“I was only fulfilling my duty. I wasn’t..” he could barely find his words. He was almost glad that Donghyuck interrupted him.

“No! You’ve _never_ been like that before… never”

“Really?”, finally he found his words again. “What do you want to hear from me, highness? That I worry about your safety? That I overreacted in the heat of the moment? I will apologize again if you want me to.”

“You’re lying!”, Donghyuck heaved out. “Please! This picture.. why would you..?”

“Why not? You left it in the atelier. I meant to return it to you and kept it safe in that book. I forgot about it.”

For seconds Donghyuck started at the drawing. Then at him again.

“No!”, he protested, “You.. please! Just speak the truth! Please!”

Yukhei had to stay strong. He _had_ to!

“I can’t lie to you, highness.” How could his voice sound so indifferent?

 

The blood was thrumming in Donghyuck’s ears. He could barely comprehend the words.

But the commander’s eyes, his wonderful eyes – were cold and hard.

No!

No!

He had been wrong. The shame left his entire body numb.

What had he done? What by all the gods had he done?

He could not force any other words, so he turned around and hurried out of the room.

Everything, he had had. Love, honor, pride… all of it destroyed.

 

After the door closed behind him he collapsed in on himself.

On his knees, hands pressed in front of his mouth was all he could do to muffle his sobs. He suffocated these traitorous tears, even if it took his breath away.

The commander knew too much. He wanted to take it back, all of it. His secret. His heart.

To alert him of his sorrow now as well would be unbearable. Unthinkable.

He pressed his fist against his lips until it hurt, wrapping his other arm around himself.

Don’t breathe. Just don’t breathe.

 

After forever – it seemed like hours – came the realization. The realization that he had failed.

The only thing he ever had to guard… he had exposed. To the merciless eyes of a merciless man.

He was so stupid. So childish. So incredibly hurt.

Why could he not be more like the stone at his feet? Cold, hard, unmoving. Like _h_ _im_ _._

But maybe _he_ wasn’t like that at all. Maybe he just couldn’t love _Donghyuck?_

Who was he after all? Had he been so spoiled in all his life that he now expected everyone to be in love with him? Was he that conceited?

‘You love me!’

‘No!’ How harsh he had said it.

‘Yes, you do!’

So stupid! Conceited! Childish!

Donghyuck carelessly wiped his tears away and struggled to his feet. From his mirror stared glassy eyes he barely recognized back at him.

 

 

Frowning, Doyoung looked at the clock. He had been expecting a sign of life from either Donghyuck or the commander, preferably _both_ of them together, about half an hour ago. He was not sure if he liked the way things were developing.

“Johnny? I think someone should check on Donghyuck.”

“Yes, that would be best I think. You should go. I will take these documents to Taeyong.”

“Yes,” Doyoung agreed, “that would be best.”

 

 

As the doors fell shut before Yukhei, he slammed his hand against the wall, uncaring of the pain or the tears glistening in his eyes. _What_ was he doing?

 

 

“Donghyuck?”

Doyoung looked around. Where was the boy?

As a slight breeze lifted the bed curtains he got his answer.

Donghyuck was lying on the bed, facing the wall.

“Donghyuck, what’s going on?”

He didn’t get a reaction. Doyoung stepped to the bed.

Donghyuck was not sleeping. He was just lying there and staring at the wall.

As his finger touched Donghyuck’s cheek, Doyoung got startled.

“Hyuck!”, he whispered, “You’re feverish! Why didn’t you say anything? _Jaemin!”_

“I’m fine.”

“ _Jaemin!”_

“I don’t have a fever!”

“Yes, Lord Kim?” Jaemin had entered the room. Worried he looked between the prince and advisor.

“Please get Dr. Qian.”

“No!”, Donghyuck heaved out. Slowly he sat up. “I’m exhausted, that’s all.”

He couldn’t look anyone in the eyes.

“Nonsense!” Doyoung protested. “Something’s wrong.”

“Yes,” Donghyuck murmured, “It’s just… a headache.”

“But… you cried.”

“Yes. I said I’m exhausted. I couldn’t sleep last night and now I’m in a bad mood.”

Doyoung signaled the waiting servant that everything was all-clear and Jaemin left. But Doyoung himself was alarmed.

Bad mood? That was all it was supposed to be? With those glassy eyes?

No! Doyoung knew Donghyuck and he _knew_ that something happened.

 

 

_Not even 10 minutes later_

 

“Taeyong?”

Surprised, the emperor turned around. And with him about a dozen other people. Taeyong frowned. Johnny never suddenly entered meetings. Johnny and Doyoung _together_ most definitely did not.

“Taeil?”

“Taeyong?”

“I think we have to postpone this matter. Please excuse me to the ministers.”

“Of course.”

Without paying any further attention to the people present, he turned to Johnny and Doyoung.

“What happened?” he immediately asked.

“Donghyuck!”

“What is with him?”

“I… don’t know for sure. He says it’s nothing but...” Doyoung trailed off.

“Well, if he says so.” Taeyong raised an eyebrow.

“You should have seen him! I’ve never seen him like that!” Doyoung replied.

“Hm,” Taeyong hummed. “And I’ve never seen Commander Wong storm out of the palace without giving any reasons.”

“Then something really is wrong!” Johnny agreed.

“Seems like it. And Yukhei asked for an audience later.”

“Something really is wrong!” Doyoung repeated.

“It almost seems like your plan wasn’t all successful. Would have been surprising anyways considering this particular brother-in-law in question.”

Taeyong took a deep breath.

 

 

“First of all: Commander Wong is on duty this evening as usual. Because I suspect that he may have other ideas, Commander Leechaiyapornkul should keep an eye on him.”

“Uh..”

“Second of all: the chefs should prepare a small engagement cake. Or maybe a sorbet? I don’t really know what the etiquette for a pre-engagement party is. Just let them choose what they like best.”

“For...today?” Johnny asked.

“For today! How many ambassadors do we accommodate at the moment, Doyoung?”

“I think five or six.”

“Good. That’s enough for an official announcement. Third of all: a written announcement of Crown Prince Donghyuck’s engagement in all the big newspapers. It has to be out tomorrow. If you have to, stop the printers or something. Fourth of all...”

“Engagement? To… Wong Yukhei?”

“Impending engagement. And yes engaged to Wong Yukhei, of course. You’re bright as ever today, Doyoung. Where was I? Right, fourth of all: Send a messenger to Duchess Wong and Lady Yuqi Wong. Tell them the invitations to the engagement celebration will follow, but it would be nice if they were already aware if someone asks.”

“Huh?”

“They should pretend they knew for a while that something was.. on the horizon. They’ll never let our dear commander live this down. Just tell them to say the situation wasn’t official until now.”

“Uh… alright. Should I already prepare some drafts for invitations as well?”

“Yes, that’s a good idea! And hurry, please.”

“Of course,” Doyoung nodded and hurried out of the door.

 

“Taeil? You have to make sure that Donghyuck appears this evening.”

“I don’t think he will want to,” Taeil worried.

“Make something up. He has to appear. At least for a few minutes. Afterward, he can retire to his chambers. Tell him a guest of honor specifically wants to be introduced to him. Better yet, tell him it’s important to _me_ that he makes an appearance.”

“Taeyong… Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Johnny asked.

“Unlike some other experimental contemporaries, yes.”

“Good! Then this is Plan B?”

“No, my love. This is Plan A. Just in a rush. I’m done watching all of this happen.”

“You will fix it?”

“Of course,” he assured and let Johnny pull him next to him. “I just have to make up a speech.”

Johnny put his arm around Taeyong’s waist.

“You’ll do amazing.”

“I’ll do it amazingly short,” Taeyong agreed, “After all, I still have an audience to give.”

 

Half an hour later Taeyong was giving said audience.

And he had to admit, he shared Doyoung’s opinion. Something really was wrong.

“Commander, you wanted to talk to me? I hope you can finally report to me about the Donghyuck situation?” he asked, to throw the commander off a little. Otherwise, it might escalate faster than he liked.

“That’s not the reason why I’m here.”

“No? To be honest I don’t really believe that.”

“Your Majesty?”

“I think you know exactly who Donghyuck’s heart belongs to.”

Yukhei’s jaw twitched.

“Your Excellency, I don’t think this is of relevance anymore.”

“I’ll be the one to judge that, don’t you think? I will ask you a question. And I will ask it only once. I expect an honest answer. Do you know who my brother loves?”

Yukhei took a deep breath. To omit the truth was one thing, but to lie?

“Well?” Taeyong prompted. Slowly but surely all of this was getting a bit too much. Someone had to force this man to face the truth.

“Yes.”

“I’m listening.”

“Your brother’s choice is… unacceptable.”

“Says _who_?”

“Me.”

“And on which authority are you judging my brother’s choice, commander?” Imperial arrogance bled through every word.

“I’m not judging.”

“Then out with it!”

“I..” Yukhei hesitated. He could not reveal Donghyuck’s secret. Not after he looked at him so desperately. “I’m asking for my transfer.” he choked out instead.

“Denied! I want an answer.”

“Then I will resign.”

“ _Denied!_ ”

“On what grounds?” the commander wanted to know.

“On what grounds? On _what_ grounds? Are you honestly asking? You swore an oath! An oath that binds you to protect my brother!”

“The situation changed.”

“Changed?” Taeyong echoed, “That’s too bad! Are you not satisfied with our decorations anymore?”

Yukhei clenched his teeth.

“Your Majesty, if you would listen to me you would understand my reasons.”

Taeyong forced himself to remain calm. If Wong could pretend he had no feelings he could as well.

“I’m listening!”

 

For a short moment, Yukhei closed his eyes. Never had he needed as much will power as in that moment. But there was only one way out.

“I’m… not able to keep the necessary distance from His Highness anymore,” he admitted.

Now it was out. Strange how a few words could change his life at once.

“What are you trying to imply?” Taeyong narrowed his eyes. “That you love my brother?”

Commander Wong was looking at the ground, lips pressed together. Interesting!

“Well?”

“Yes.”

“Ah! So that’s how it is.”

Sadly Yukhei could not see how Taeyong’s face relaxed and a satisfied smile spread on his lips.

“Does Donghyuck know?”

“No! I would never have...”

“Of course not,” Taeyong replied flatly. “Are you the one he loves?”

The only answer he got was silence.

“Commander?”

“I will not speak about that.”

“Alright. That isn’t necessary anyway.” Taeyong crossed his arms. “I have my answer. He loves you. And you love him, but he doesn’t know.” He caught Yukhei’s gaze. “I agree with you. This situation is intolerable. I will proceed with the necessary steps. You’re dismissed.”

 

Yukhei bowed to his ruler – maybe for the last time – and left the office. Maybe also for the last time.

The quiet sound of the door falling shut sounded final. The only thing left to do was count the hours and wait for the orders of the emperor. With luck, he would get to be the overseeing officer on some outpost. But that mattered little to him. It was over.

What he would leave behind at the palace - _that_ was what would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The pain in his eyes. In his heart.

But that he would take with him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_That evening_

 

It knocked. Four times. It had to be Ten.

“Yes?” Yukhei called curtly.

“ _There_ are you. Mark wants…. What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

“Packing. Aha. Is there going to be a putsch? Is the palace being evacuated?”

“No.”

“Then why are you packing?”

“Because I will go.”

“Go. Where? And when?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?”

“Where and when.”

“Aha. But you’re already packing.”

“Yes.”

“Yukhei, what’s going on?”

“I’m only doing what I should have done a long time ago.”

“You’re getting a brain transplantation?”

“I don’t feel like joking at the moment.”

“Or talking.”

Yukhei stopped organizing his books. He massaged his temple.

“Promise me that you’ll keep an eye on him.”

“What? On who? The prince?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know why I should. He already has a guard.”

“Ten, please.”

“Damn it! Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“His Majesty is aware of my… situation.”

“What?”

“I had to tell him. Otherwise, he would have not let me leave.”

“Aha. And why is leaving suddenly an option?”

“Because I make him unhappy,” Yukhei said silently.

 

Ten studied his friend’s face. _This_ seemed to be the extent of what Lord Kim’s plan had accomplished.

The rest had – according to Mark’s chaotic retelling – gone absolutely wrong.

“Uhu.”

“Yes. Uhu.”

“He does love you after all,” Ten murmured. “I did have my suspicions.”

Well, after yesterday’s talk with Lord Kim ‘suspicions’ was maybe a bit too mild.

“Congratulations,” Yukhei said flatly.

“I still don’t understand how that translates to you leaving.”

“You’re also not in the predicament I am in.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean that Donghyuck is my _charge._ I took an oath to protect him and now all I do is hurt him. He deserves someone better than me. Someone who can provide a useful alliance to the empire. Someone who won’t make him unhappy.”

“But you don’t make him unhappy,” Ten stressed, “you’re hurting him by rejecting him. If you would just admit to your feelings, there would be no need for all of this.”

“But I cannot offer anything to him. I gave up all rights to my family name when I swore my oath. If I don’t resign, all of the privileges fall to my sister. I can’t make him give up all of his future prospects because of an infatuation.”

“You need to stop belittling Donghyuck’s feelings. And yourself.” Ten said sternly. “And today… today no one has gotten instructions to take your place. So you _will_ do your job as always. Your duty is holy to you after all isn’t it? So go and do it.”

 

 

 

 

The guests of the exclusive evening event were more or less a handpicked bunch.

Retired generals danced with ministers, ambassadors exchanged recipes, attractive young Sirs and Ladies flirted with the kitchen staff.

It was almost like every other celebration at court.

But someone was missing who usually gave a special gleam to every celebration. His Imperial Highness, Crown Prince Donghyuck.

 

“Really unfortunate, Your Excellency. I was looking forward to meeting your brother.” a newly appointed ambassador of a neighboring nation remarked.

“Oh, you will. He’s feeling a little unwell but he will appear for a few minutes.” Taeyong replied.

“That’s good to hear. I was looking forward to hearing him play on the piano after hearing my queen talk about his abilities- but ah. Well. Too bad.”

“Yes. Too bad.” Taeyong agreed, turning away from the ambassador and towards Johnny who had been tapping his shoulder.

“If you want to make your announcement now I’ll send for Donghyuck,” Johnny whispered to him.

“Yes, now is a good point in time. Thank you.”

 

 

_Shortly after that, in front of Donghyuck’s chambers_

 

Until now Yukhei still hadn’t received any orders from the emperor. Everything in him urged him to say his goodbyes to his charge. But the thought of leaving Donghyuck behind felt traitorous.

He would leave him on his own. Even though he had sworn never to do such a thing.

It would be the last time he would be accompanying Donghyuck to a ball. The last time he matched his steps to his.

 

“Your Highness?”

He stiffened, halted but didn’t turn around.

“Yes?” he asked coldly.

“I… asked your brother for my transferal.”

Donghyuck closed his eyes. This decision had already been made for him then. That it still could hurt this much….

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you should know.”

“Yes,” he could barely press out any words. “Thank you.”

Some traitorous part in Yukhei wished he would turn around. His wish was not fulfilled.

 

The ball rushed past Donghyuck.

He will leave.

He could not think about anything else.

His Yukhei would leave.

“Hyuck, did you even eat anything?”

“Yes, Johnny.”

He will leave. He will not come back.

“Try the chocolate cake. It’s really amazing.”

Donghyuck nodded.

“Are you still not feeling better?”

“I’m fine.”

 

In front of them, a group of people was assembling.

“Oh, I think Taeyong will make his announcement now.”

Taeyong did really stand up and looked around. More was not necessary to silence the room.

“Honored Guests. I want to take today’s festivities as an opportunity to make an announcement.”

A surprised murmuring started up.

“Commander Wong?”

Donghyuck could see his guard straighten up. He pressed his teeth together.

Taeyong ordered Yukhei in front of him. The time had come after all. That he would get dismissed in front of all assembled guests he had not expected after all. His Majesty must have been particularly angry to go so far.

“Commander Wong Yukhei - To none of you will this man be a stranger. How often he saved my brother’s life… I cannot keep count anymore. Until now I was always suffering with the knowledge that no matter what I did, I could never properly thank him for all he sacrificed for my family Until today. The day on which my family will open their doors to Wong Yukhei.”

Taeyong nodded to Johnny, who softly but determinedly led Donghyuck to him.

The emperor took his brother’s hand and continued.

“It’s an honor and a privilege to give Prince Donghyuck’s hand and heart to the man who has sworn his whole life away for his protection and who more than anyone else has earned our deepest respect and trust.”

 

As Donghyuck finally registered the words, he froze. His hands was gripped tighter and softly caressed.

“No!”

His protest was so quiet that only his brother could hear.

“I can’t imagine anyone I would be more pleased with! Someone as brave, earnest and honorable as Wong Yukhei will be hard to find in the entire empire.”

Taeyong looked at his left side.

“Commander,” he said with an understanding nod while preventing Donghyuck to slip from his grip.

 

Yukhei tried to reconcile the current events with reality.

Waking up would be nice.

 _Now_ would be a great time.

“Well, Commander Wong.” Taeyong’s voice reached his ears, “If I could ask for your hand.”

The guests laughed bemusedly and tried to catch a glance or two of the pair.

Since His Majesty didn’t ask but rather commanded the trained soldier responded and … obeyed.

 

“Brother please!”

Before Donghyuck’s voice got loud enough that the by-standers would hear him, Taeyong whispered to him, “Trust me, Hyuck.”

Why was his brother doing this?

And why wasn’t _he_ doing anything?

He _had_ to do something!

Even his loyalty must have limits!

But the only thing Donghyuck met in his gaze was a soft gleam of.. something.

 

“Now lets all toast to the impending engagement of my brother and Commander Wong!” Taeyong called to the crowd, raising his glass.

He let the shouts ring out for a short moment.

“I’m sure you know what sort of kiss is acceptable for this,” he whispered to the couple before standing aside.

 

“Your Highness...” Yukhei whispered, questioning eyes searching for _something_ in Donghyuck’s face.

“No. Don’t. I...” Donghyuck took a deep breath. “I don’t understand what my brother is doing.”

“I think people are expecting us to kiss,” Yukhei replied softly.

“ _I_ will go back to my chambers now. You will accompany me and not do anything that will give anyone the wrong idea.” Donghyuck was furious. How dare he! How dare he follow any order blindly, even if…!

“If you would listen to me..”

The prince did not want to, instead turned around and stalked with his head held high out of the room. His shadow had no other choice but to follow him.

 

The crowd _aaw-ed_ in the belief that the new couple was still too shy to openly express their affection, murmuring among themselves.

“What are they doing now?” Johnny whispered.

“Donghyuck’s going for confrontation,” Taeyong replied.

“Can’t blame him,” Doyoung whispered, “Considering how the commander behaved. My great plan completely failed!”

“Well, _that’s_ nothing new.” snorted Taeil.

“What do we do if he rejects him?” Johnny asked.

“Donghyuck’s just going to blow off all his anger. His feelings haven’t changed.” Taeyong stressed. "Everything will work out perfectly fine. I'm sure of that."

"Alright, my love," Johnny smiled, "but I thought you  _were'nt_ keen on the matchmaker title?"

 

 

Donghyuck was more fleeing than walking along the halls. With his hands clasped tightly in front of him, he hurried.

“Your Highness...”

Just keep walking forward. It wasn’t difficult.

“Donghyuck, please!”

He almost stumbled. It was mean to call him by his name now of all times. He locked his jaw, kept ignoring him and almost reached his chambers. Almost!

“Your Highness, I’m asking for an audience.”

“No time!”, he gritted out, “An appointment with Countess… a countess.”

“The countess will have to make an exception,” he replied, “ _Please,_ Donghyuck. Just five minutes and you will never have to listen to me again.”

“Alright!” he hissed and opened the closest door. It was the music room.

 

As soon as they were safe from any listeners, Yukhei cleared his throat.

But it was Donghyuck who spoke first.

“I will ask my brother to stop this ridiculous charade.”

“That is not what I wish, highness!”

“Enough! You have expressed your feelings already. Did you really think I would accept your advances when all your doing is fulfilling my brother’s wishes?”

“Your brother has nothing to do with this!”

Donghyuck laughed. Silently. Coldly.

“No? Then how did you change your opinion so rapidly?”

“Because they didn’t change! Nothing changed at all! When you asked about my feelings… I lied. And you know it. You know how I feel, Donghyuck.”

“No! I know nothing! And especially not if it’s pertaining to you! I thought you are honest and honorable. And now you’re lying to me to please my brother?”

“I only lied a single time. And it was my duty.”

“And now, commander? Now it is your duty to pretend to have romantic inclinations? Or will you go as far as developing them?”Donghyuck heaved bitterly. “A sense of duty unlike anyone else. But that was always your most prominent characteristic, wasn’t it? I’m afraid I will have to decline.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said. I will apologize a thousand times and it still cannot make up for how I behaved. But I love you, Donghyuck, truly I do,” he pleaded.

“If you loved me then you wouldn’t have rejected me!”

“You know that I couldn’t act differently.”

“ _Do I?”_ Donghyuck screamed, “You let me _beg._ I begged you to tell me the truth!”

“I was wrong,” he choked out, “I couldn’t let myself believe that you harbored feelings anywhere close to mine. I didn't think your brother would allow you to settle for me. I didn’t want to make you entertain the possibility… when I was not worthy.”

“What? What are you saying?” Irritated, Donghyuck blinked at him. “Not worthy?”

“I have nothing to offer but myself,” he replied quietly, “no titles, no land, no alliances. Only a soldier’s existence.”

“When did I ever say that I wanted anything else?” Donghyuck shook his head,” How am I more worthy than you? Because I was born into the most privileged family? Because I was raised more sheltered than anyone else in this country? I’m nothing but a spoiled child. I don't even have to worry about my own appearance. I have no real responsibilities. I’m the crown prince in name, but everyone knows that I’ll lose the title as soon as my brother starts adopting. I do nothing of importance!”

He slowly lifted his right hand and pressed it against Yukhei’s chest.

“Even my scars..” he fingers tapped against the uniform hiding countless injuries, “are worn by someone else.”

“All the injuries you suffered … all because of me. And you’re right: I don’t deserve that. But if you really love me, never say that you’re unworthy. Never!”

“Donghyuck...” Tears were glistening on the commander’s cheeks, “I’m so sorry. For what I said. For how much hurt I caused you. For ever making you feel as if I wasn't on your side. As if I wasn't plagued by my love for you every waking hour of every day.  But, please, give me another chance. If you still love me- Let me make it up to you, for the rest of my life.”

 

“If I still love you?" Donghyuck huffed. "You really are an idiot if you think I could stop loving you when you're all my heart has ever known. ”

His gaze softened.

"I will give you a last chance, you better not waste it", Donghyuck whispered, carefully wiping Yukhei's tears away.

"Thank you." he replied, a tentative smile on his lips.

 

Donghyuck's gaze fell onto Yukhei’s mouth returned to his eyes and fell to his mouth again.

The longing in it gave Yukhei the incentive. Slowly, rough fingertips caressed his throat as he touched Donghyuck’s neck.

Donghyuck followed the silent invitation. He came closer. Close enough that he could feel his warmth engulf him.

Yukhei lowered his head until they stood, foreheads touching. Until the world wasn’t between them any longer.

“Donghyuck.”

 

Donghyuck closed his eyes. Didn’t he finally want to…

Did he have to keep saying his name?

His vitals had already reached frequencies he hadn’t thought possible. If they continued like this he wouldn’t live to experience the actual kiss.

It seemed as if his lips had gotten numb from longing by now.

How could his heart beat this fast? How could his body be electrified by every touch? How could he do all this when he hadn’t even done anything yet?

“Yukhei”, he breathed.

To finally be able to say his name as if it was the most natural thing. To finally be able to do what for years he had only dreamed about, in the foolish part of his heart, locked away from anyone who could see.

 

It was a slow avalanche. Slow but unstoppable. His eyes were twinkling in a way Donghyuck had never seen before.

Only mere millimeters apart from his lips he breathed his name one last time. “Donghyuck.”

With a half-opened mouth, he briefly touched Donghyuck's lips.

Lips that were longing for him. And he knew it!

Donghyuck gripped his collar and pulled him closer. More was not necessary. His mouth melted into Yukhei’s.

Without any further hesitation, Donghyuck took what he had wished for all those years. Donghyuck pressed himself against Yukhei, against everything of him, while indulging in the passionate reciprocation of his mouth.

Yukhei’s arms wrapped around Donghyuck, finally allowing himself what he had denied himself until now. The one he had followed, protected and revered… now he was his. Just as Yukhei was his.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally have no good explanation as to why this took 6 months.. i started uni? and I kinda gave up after half of this lmao.


End file.
